Helen Day Memorial Service
September 17, 2022 (died August 28)
Note: Helen Day was an active and valued member of First Evangelical Free Church in Wichita for over 40 years.
Obituary: Helen was born to George and Marie Rempel in Fowler, Kansas, the youngest of 13 siblings and the only one of the Rempel children born in a hospital. She grew up on her family’s dairy farm near Meade, Kansas, graduated high school from Meade Bible Academy, and attended Emmanuel Mennonite Church.
Helen wanted to become a nurse from an early age and worked several summers as a cook for her family’s harvest crew to help pay for her education at Tabor College and Wesley School of Nursing. While at Wesley, she met a medical student from K.U. named Howard Day. Despite having vowed to never marry a doctor, Helen married Howard in November, 1972. They spent their first anniversary in Kisumu, Kenya, serving as medical missionaries. After returning to the U.S., they settled in Kansas City, Kansas, where their two surviving children (son, Ryan, and daughter, Lori) were born. They moved to Wichita, Kansas, in 1979 for Howard to pursue a career with The Wichita Nephrology Group, and Helen decided to retire from nursing to be a full-time mother and homemaker.
Helen’s quiet, stalwart faith in God grew deep roots through seasons of hardship and inspired her loving service to others (especially those suffering illness or grief), steadfast friendships, and generous hospitality. She volunteered for years with Victory in the Valley, Meals-on-Wheels, and hospice care. She served alongside many older women at First Evangelical Free Church, eagerly absorbing their wisdom and continually becoming a woman who reflected their caring ways and godliness into the lives around her. The family dinner table regularly included visitors, friends, and her children’s schoolmates.
Her theology was simple, but profoundly and beautifully embodied. Love God. Love others. Every day. Helen enjoyed sewing, handwork embroidery, scrapbooking, reading, decorating, baking, playing hymns on the piano, studying the Bible, writing notes of encouragement to others, hosting family gatherings, traveling with friends and family, cheering for the Jayhawks’ and Shockers’ basketball teams, walking her dogs, mowing at the Day family farm, keeping flower gardens, wearing pretty scarves, drinking Diet Coke, and trying out the latest cleaning or cooking gadgets. She delighted in her children, proudly attending softball games, swim meets, piano recitals, band concerts, Ryan and Hillary’s wedding, and many graduations. Her wry, gentle humor appeared most often in the recounting of stories of shared experiences or in a lightly sarcastic comment while working with you side-by-side. She was so thankful when Howard retired to take on caring for her after she was diagnosed with Parkinson’s Disease. Even though she hated not being able to do everything they had wanted to, she cherished those final years together in his care. She suffered from Parkinson’s for the final 14 years of her life, and though she eventually lost many of her physical and mental capacities, she remained a faith-filled, peaceful, loving person.
She is preceded in death by her parents, George J. and Marie L. (Friesen) Rempel, and siblings Herman, Pete, Eldon, Erma, and Donald. She is survived by her husband, Howard Day; children Ryan Day (Hillary Day Lum) and Lori Day; siblings Margaret, Will, John, Edwin, Walter, Marilyn, and Eileen; and many dear friends. Helen’s legacy of faith and lovingkindness persists in the lives of those who knew her. Until the Kingdom comes, we miss her so much.
Memorial Message: I am struck by an amazing contrast I have observed over the past two weeks. Two good women have died. For the one there has been virtually non-stop news coverage. Tributes have poured in from commentators, politicians, and world leaders. People have stood for hours to just get a glimpse of her casket. Over a million people from around the globe will gather on Monday to pay their tribute, and hundreds of millions around the world will watch her funeral on TV.
In contrast, here today there are a couple of hundred of us, and a few more watching online, but there are no TV cameras. Some heartfelt tributes have been sent to the family, and we have added a few more during this service, but there will be nothing on the evening news about this memorial, even here in Wichita.
Queen Elizabeth was, by all accounts, a very good woman, and I do not begrudge her the honor she is receiving. She did not seek her position; it was thrust upon her and she handled it with grace. Helen was also a very good woman. She accepted what God gave her and she also handled her opportunities and responsibilities with grace.
The question in my mind is, how does God evaluate these two memorial events? Well, I don’t know the Queen’s spiritual condition before God, but I believe I know Helen’s, after watching her life for the past 40 years. In 2 Peter 1:11 the true believer in Christ is given the following promise, “You will receive a rich welcome into the eternal kingdom of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.”
We are not promised a royal exit from this life, but we are promised something far more important—a royal entrance into heaven. We’re here today to celebrate that entrance for Helen Day.
As I sat with Howard and Lori last week, I asked them about special Scripture passages that meant a lot to Helen that might serve as the focus of our meditation this morning. She had listed two passages on her funeral plan and Pastor Phil has read both of those. But Lori brought to my attention another passage which had a unique place with the Rempel family, Psalm 121.
The Rempels were a large farm family, and everyone had to pitch in to make a go of it. Helen, the youngest of 13, was on the harvest crew; her job was to cook for those who were combining, haying, and harvesting various crops.
Helen shared with Howard and Lori that when harvest began, her dad would lead everyone in the reading of Psalm 121. Listen to this Psalm, from the King James Version.
I will lift up mine eyes unto the hills, from whence cometh my help.
2 My help cometh from the Lord, which made heaven and earth.
3 He will not suffer thy foot to be moved: he that keepeth thee will not
slumber.
4 Behold, he that keepeth Israel shall neither slumber nor sleep.
5 The Lord is thy keeper: the Lord is thy shade upon thy right hand.
6 The sun shall not smite thee by day, nor the moon by night.
7 The Lord shall preserve thee from all evil: he shall preserve thy soul.
8 The Lord shall preserve thy going out and thy coming in from this time
forth, and even for evermore.
This Psalm is one of fifteen that are known as Psalms of Ascent. They were sung as the Israelites traveled up to Jerusalem to worship God at the Temple. The opening line is most likely intended to be statement followed by a question. “I will lift my eyes to the hills (i.e., to Jerusalem). Where does my help come from?” Not from the hills; that’s where they went to meet with God and to worship. Help comes from the Lord Himself, the maker of not just the hills, but of all heaven and earth.
The theme of this particular Psalm is clearly God’s protection. There are at least eight descriptive terms which speak of God as protector of His people. He is our helper. He never slumbers or sleeps. He provides shade from the sun during the day, and protection from the fears of night. He preserves from all evil. He preserves our very life. And He protects our coming and our going, now and always.
Now why do you think a Scripture passage like this was so important to a farm family outside of Meade, KS, and why do you think it had a major impact on Helen as she was growing up? Well, it was important because the Rempels were a God-fearing family. They knew God as the sovereign Creator of heaven and earth, and they worshipped Him as such.
They knew Him as their Helper and Protector. Parents are always concerned with the safety and health of their children. Having just two sons, I know how often Jan and I prayed for protection for them—at school, on the ball field, at camp, when they started driving, at college, at work, etc. I can’t imagine how many prayers were uttered by George and Marie Rempel for their 13 children!
There were also promises in this Psalm which had special meaning for a farm family. The statement that “He will not suffer thy foot to be moved” was taken as referring to God’s protection from the falls and accidents that can so easily happen when people are active outdoors, working around cattle, driving farm machinery.
Summers in Meade could be brutally hot, and those were the days, of course, before airconditioned cabs on tractors and trucks, and sunstroke was always a danger. So when the Psalmist calls God “the shade on thy right hand,” and adds that “the sun will not smite thee,” those were comforting words. They didn’t necessarily change the summer temperature, but they sure could change one’s perception and attitude.
The Psalmist also promises that God “will keep you from all evil.” You wouldn’t typically think of Meade as a place where a lot of evil was lurking, but Helen was just 11 years old when Perry Smith and Richard Hickock murdered the Clutter family in cold blood in Holcomb, just a little over an hour away from the Rempel farm. I’m sure after that dastardly deed her father thought a lot about the need for God’s protection as he led the family in reading Psalm 121.
But if you know Helen’s story well, you perhaps sense a problem with this Psalm. If God is supposed to be the Protector, why did Helen’s brother Don, closest to her in age, die in a farming accident, virtually in front of her eyes? Why did two other siblings, Pete and Erma, die of aplastic anemia while she was in grade school and high school? Why did brother Eldon die of kidney disease? Why did Helen lose her father while she was still a young lady?
What’s up with that when the family was proclaiming their trust in God as their protector? Did they somehow fail to quote Psalm 121 often enough? Did the God who is supposed to “never slumber or sleep” fall asleep on the job?
And why did Helen herself contract Parkinson’s Disease in the prime of life and have her strength and vitality sapped over the past 14 years, to the point that she could no longer stand and could hardly communicate? What happened to the promise that “the Lord will keep you from all evil; he will preserve your life.”?
If questions like that cross your mind, you are not alone. Nor do the Scriptures ignore such questions. The prophet Habakkuk asks, “How long, O LORD, must I call for help, but you do not listen? Or cry out to you, but you do not save? Why do you tolerate wrong?” The prophet’s principal concern was the violence and injustice in society, but the same questions, “How long?”and “Why?” are often on our minds in respect to the trials and difficulties we face in our personal lives.
The answers to such questions are difficult and perhaps never fully satisfactory. But there are a few things we can say that might help. First, we must recognize and acknowledge the finite limitations to our understanding. The prophet Isaiah quoted God as saying, “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the Lord.” (Isaiah 55:8).
In other words, there is a huge gap between our understanding and His. When God promises to protect His children from evil, is He talking about everything that appears to be evil to us, or is He talking about ultimate evil. Ask Joseph if God was faithful to protect him from evil, but do you want to ask him while he is in the pit where his brothers threw him, or in the prison where Potiphar assigned him, or when he is Prime Minister of the greatest empire in the ancient world? Actually, I am relatively sure he would say, “Yes” to all these situations. Remember, he is the one who said to the brothers who sold him into slavery, “You meant it for evil, but God meant it for good.” So, what appears to be evil to us may actually be for our ultimate good.
A second factor we must take into consideration is that we only know about the bad things that actually happen; we don’t know about the bad things that might have happened. What I mean is that we don’t know how many times God has intervened in our lives, perhaps employing guardian angels, to protect us from tragedies we cannot even imagine. Perhaps if we knew all that might have been, we wouldn’t accuse Him of failing us in this particular or that.
But the best answer to the problem of pain or evil is the Cross. Jesus was the only perfect human being who ever lived. He taught God’s truth, He demonstrated God’s love, but wicked men crucified Him like a common criminal. Yet it is through that awful event that He purchased our salvation, for as 1 Peter 3:18 says, “For Christ suffered for sins once for all, the righteous for the unrighteous, to bring you to God.” If God used the most terrible, evil event in all of human history to bring about eternal good, i.e., our salvation, might He not use less terrible events in our lives for our eternal benefit?
Helen was a woman of simple faith. She refused to see her trials through the lens of doubt and skepticism. She still recited Psalm 121 in faith, and she still believed in the protection God promises, even after the death of dear loved ones, even after Parkinson’s took an increasing toll on her body and mind. She saw in this Psalm the truth that “The Lord shall preserve thee from all evil,” not from all trial, not from all pain, not even from physical death, but from all evil.
And she saw in this Psalm the truth that, “He shall preserve thy soul.” Since eternity is infinitely longer than time, our soul, the immaterial and immortal part of us is infinitely more important than the few years we spend in the body here on earth.
Helen put her faith in the God of the Scriptures as a child, she trusted her Savior for the forgiveness of her sins through His shed blood on the Cross, and I believe she has received a rich welcome, a royal entrance into God’s presence.
Let me read the Psalm once more:
I will lift up mine eyes unto the hills, from whence cometh my help.
2 My help cometh from the Lord, which made heaven and earth.
3 He will not suffer thy foot to be moved: he that keepeth thee will not
slumber.
4 Behold, he that keepeth Israel shall neither slumber nor sleep.
5 The Lord is thy keeper: the Lord is thy shade upon thy right hand.
6 The sun shall not smite thee by day, nor the moon by night.
7 The Lord shall preserve thee from all evil: he shall preserve thy soul.
8 The Lord shall preserve thy going out and thy coming in from this time
forth, and even for evermore.
Prayer: Father, you are a good God, all the time. You’re good when things are going well, and You’re good when we face trials and difficulties. You’re good in life and You are good in death.
Thank you for allowing us to know Helen Day. She was a special lady in so many ways. We pray for Howard that you will fill that immense void in his life with Your love, and with the care and concern of his many friends. I pray for Lori and Ryan and thank you for the loving relationship they enjoyed with their mother. I pray for Helen’s surviving siblings. They have experienced more grief than most, but I pray that they, too, will revel in the God of the Scriptures. Thank you for the good care Helen received from her family and the medical caregivers who gave so much of themselves to make her comfortable.
Thank you most of all for the Lord Jesus, for whom Helen lived her life. May we rejoice in the salvation He has provided and look forward to that day when those of us who know her Savior will see her again. In Jesus’ precious name, amen.