Harry Castelli Funeral
October 1, 2022 (died September 23)
Note: I met Harry Castelli in October of 1972, when I first preached at First Evangelical Free Church in Wichita. His family lived in Andover, not far from where Jan grew up. He and his wife Carol, who joined the church in the early 60’s, became good friends during my first tenure as pastor, and that relationship only deepened when we returned to the church in 2004. I would count Harry as one of my best friends ever.
Welcome, by Pastor Josh Black: Good morning. On behalf of Harry’s family, I would like to welcome each of you and thank you for coming. My name is Josh Black. I’ve been one of Harry’s pastors for over eleven years. We come to remember Harry Castelli’s life. He was a faithful husband to Carol and a loving father to Jim, Susie, Tom, and Julie. A grandfather and great-grandfather.
Last night I attended a wedding. This morning I’m at a funeral. Both are generally held in a church. I’m wearing the same suit for both. But the purposes are very different. The author of Ecclesiastes actually says that it’s better to go to the house of mourning than the house of feasting. Eccl 7:1-4 reads,
“A good name is better than precious ointment,
and the day of death than the day of birth.
It is better to go to the house of mourning than to go to the house of feasting,
for this is the end of all mankind, and the living will lay it to heart.
Sorrow is better than laughter,
for by sadness of face the heart is made glad.
The heart of the wise is in the house of mourning,
but the heart of fools is in the house of mirth.”
I think there are three reasons why it’s better to go to house of mourning than feasting.
- It’s a time to remember Harry’s life, the good name, the good reputation of Harry. In a minute after I pray, I’ll read Harry’s obit and Jed, Susie, and Tom will share memories.
- It helps us remember our own lives, that we will one day die, to think through how to live, to treasure the life we have and make the most of it.
- To remember the hope we have in life and death in the gospel, eternal life.
Obituary: Harry Bruno Castelli, 94, died on September 23, 2022 at Catholic Care Center at Bel Aire, Kansas. Harry was born on January 25, 1928 in Midland, Pennsylvania. He was the youngest of six children of Italian immigrants, Lucy and Amedeo “Mike” Castelli. He was predeceased by his parents and by siblings Therna (Castelli) DeFrancis, William Castelli, Emma (Castelli) Strano, Charles Castelli and Arthur Castelli.
Harry graduated from Midland, PA High School in 1946. He was inducted into the U.S. Army on September 23, 1946 and served in Italy before being honorably discharged in 1947. After his military service, Harry attended the Milwaukee School of Engineering where he obtained a degree in Electrical Engineering. Wichita’s Boeing factory representatives traveled to Milwaukee to interview potential employees. Harry was hired and worked for Boeing as an electrical engineer for over 40 years until his retirement.
Harry met Wichita native Carol Vermillion shortly after arriving in Wichita, and they were married on November 21, 1953. Carol died on August 2, 2020. They had four children, all of whom survive him: Jim Castelli of Salina; Susie (Jed) Holmes of Wichita; Tom Castelli of Oklahoma City, and Julie (Marty) Keenan of Wichita. He is survived by 14 grandchildren and 11 great-grandchildren.
Harry holds the longest continuous membership at First Evangelical Free Church, over 60 years. His first love was God, and then his family. His friends were legion.
Message by Pastor Mike Andrus: When I think of Harry Castelli, I think of the word, “friend.” Harry had lots of friends. He had friends at work, friends in the neighborhood, friends at church, friends at Catholic Care, friends at the doctor’s office.
Though I first became acquainted with Harry 50 years ago, I think my friendship with him developed in earnest when a group of us took a mission trip to southern Mexico in 1978. Among those who went on this trip with us were Ken Bengtson, Irv Penner, Wendell Force, Bill Fouty, John Gee, Clark Stevens, Roxie Juarez, and Nellie Smith. I hope I didn’t miss anyone. We went there to help a single missionary named Ed Aulie build a water system for the little mountain village of Naranjos. Every one of the guys on that trip remained friends for life, especially Ed with Harry.
Ed Aulie wanted desperately to come to our service today, but he was out in a remote village and couldn’t come. But he did send a message, and I want to share part of it with you.
“I have never known anyone like Harry. He exemplified the fullness of the fruit of the Holy Spirit, always caring and giving to others. I never heard him give a Bible study or preach a sermon, but his life, more than any sermon, was a powerful witness to Christ, serving always in love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control. He always brightened up our fellowship. When he spoke of the Lord, his eyes often filled with tears….
The Lord brought Harry our way many times over the years, installing potable water systems for whole villages, building homes for widows, wiring our house, always encouraging us in the Lord and showering us with abounding love. On his first missionary trip to Naranjos, Mexico with a group of 24 people, I was single and bewildered as to how to feed so many and all I had was one big pot. Harry took the burden off of me and made amazing meals. I can still see him putting cloves in the tomatoes for his famous spaghetti sauce.
He was like a father to my wife Denise and she told him so, often writing to him on Father’s Day. That was the warmth we felt as a family where my own children considered him “Uncle Harry”. He would frequently write, commenting and asking about each of our children by name…. Each of them recognized the blessing of having his presence and care for them from their childhood on.
In one letter he wrote, ‘Our world seems to be upside down , but our awesome God is in complete control and will one day turn it right side up. Jesus Christ is our only hope and he never fails.’
And finally, this letter in which he wrote, ‘We are sending you all our deep love on this joyful EASTER SUNDAY celebrating our resurrected Lord Jesus Christ…to really be complete we must have the Easter celebration, the blessed hope of our risen Lord living in our hearts and lives.’
What a joy to absolutely know that Harry has entered into his reward with Christ Himself.”
Some of Harry’s best friends over the past 25 years were the Geezers, a group of old codgers that met for years at Jimmie’s Diner, and still meets at IHOP on Tuesday mornings. The group started when Harry, John Gee, Marvin Way, and Wendell Force, went to Promise Keepers in Colorado back in the 90’s. They decided to meet weekly to provide accountability to one another, study the Word, and serve others. A number of the Geezers went “Home” to be with the Lord before Harry, like John, Wendell, Albert, Marvin, and Neal, but others of us were blessed to take their place.
For several decades, until Covid hit, the Geezers would have breakfast, then come over to clean the church, and conclude with a time of sharing in the Word and prayer. Though Harry hasn’t been able to attend since his 94th birthday, he remained an honorary member and fully embodies the friendship that is the focus of the group. These men are all proud to be Harry’s pallbearers today.
But Harry had all kinds of friends, not just old geezers. He had many women friends. My wife was one of them. Every time I would call Harry, he would invariably close by saying, “Give my love to Jan!” And I would invariably say to him, “Jan wants me to tell you that she thinks she’s the luckiest woman in the world.” And Harry would groan.
Harry had a lot of women friends at Catholic Care. In fact, he fancied himself as “the Italian Stallion” over there. He even had a T-shirt that had that printed on it. I told him he was more like the old gray mare. Most of the time when I visited him, I would find him playing bridge with a group of widows. They loved Harry.
Harry had lots of young friends, too. Some were schoolmates of Susie at Andover or Julie at Berean Academy. And some were Young Lifers. But most of his young friends were the result of Harry serving in AWANA, helping countless young boys get grounded in God’s Word. He was doing that when I left in 1984 and still doing it when I returned two decades later. In fact, Harry served in AWANA for 45 consecutive years!
Curt Romig, formerly on our pastoral staff and now a pastor in Austin, TX, wrote a tribute to Harry. I want to read part of it.
“There were so many other wonderful people who encouraged me in my formative years. Harry was one of them that I’ll never forget, as he reflected Jesus to me in so many ways.
Harry was the “old guy” who served in AWANA for decades. He listened to me quote the verses, and pushed me to get them “word perfect,” even when I was rushing to get them done for the prizes. I know the verses better today because of Harry.
As a high schooler, I volunteered one schoolyear with AWANA and Harry was one of my co-leaders. I saw more closely his tender heart to the kids and followed his example.
When I got interested in missions, I had no bigger fan than Harry. He and his wife Carol supported me, asked me great questions, and every time I walked in to First Free Church after a trip or a year away or even several years away, Harry’s smile and hug were the thing I looked forward to the most. He always had a sincere interest in all my crazy adventures…. He also was as faithful of a donut table volunteer at church as you’ll ever meet.
Thank you, God, for putting Harry in my life. He was never showy, never needing recognition, just an honest guy who loved Jesus and genuinely cared about a kid and teenager like me. We need more of those humble, faithful, servant-hearted people. “Old guys” (and gals): don’t underestimate the impact you can make on young people. The next time I walk into First Free Wichita won’t be the same, but I’m counting on a good hug when I get to heaven. Maybe we’ll have a donut, too.”
I want us to look at a brief passage from Ecclesiastes 4. I have never used this as a funeral meditation, but it just seems to fit here today. Eccl. 4:9-12:
Two are better than one,
because they have a good return for their labor:
10 If either of them falls down,
one can help the other up.
But pity anyone who falls
and has no one to help them up.
11 Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm.
But how can one keep warm alone?
12 Though one may be overpowered,
two can defend themselves.
A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.
The theme of this passage seems to be that friends are necessary to live life to the fullest. In fact, they provide three key ingredients for our lives, and the first is …
Encouragement when we fall. (10) “Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work: If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up!”
Every one of us will hit bottom sometime. We may lose a job, confront a serious illness, face a possible divorce, watch one of our children get badly hurt, experience the death a loved one—you name it. At a time like that we need a friend. But, unfortunately, at such a time we’re generally in no shape to go looking for friends. We need to cultivate friends before we fall.
Harry was a really good man, but he was not perfect. I remember a time when he hit bottom. Pastor Dick and I were honored that he considered us good enough friends to come to us for counsel, and we were able to help him find resolution and freedom. Harry also shared with his friends, the Geezers, that at times he felt like a failure as a father and grandfather. I think all of us have those feelings at times. If Harry hadn’t invested in friends, he would have had to carry those burdens alone.
Harry helped carry the burdens of others, as well. He came alongside countless people to offer encouragement.
Not only do friends provide encouragement when we fall; they also provide…
Companionship when alone. (11) “Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone?” There is an obvious application here to marriage. Of the many benefits of marriage surely one of the greatest is the privilege of snuggling on a cold winter’s night. When someone has been married as long as Carol and Harry were, almost 67 years, that feeling of aloneness when a spouse is gone can be almost overwhelming. It was for Harry.
But surely Solomon’s words apply beyond marriage; I believe he is speaking figuratively about how each of us needs someone to just be there when we are feeling lonely or hurting. Do you remember the account of Job’s friends? “They sat on the ground with him for seven days and seven nights. No one said a word to him, because they saw how great his suffering was.” Then they opened their mouths and ruined everything.
Harry was not one who felt compelled to tell you what to do, but he was one to just be there for his friends. While he was still mobile, he faithfully visited shut-ins and those in the hospital. He never reported it; I would hear about it after the fact from the person he visited.
You know, there is nothing sadder than to see a person die alone, and nothing more beautiful than to see one surrounded by friends and loved ones at the end of his life. The day before he died, I went in to see Harry. There on the large bed Amelia lay on one side of Harry, stroking his arm. Julie was on the other side, holding his hand, and Susie was at his feet. He was sleep. But I spoke to him, “Harry!” and he opened his eyes slightly. I said, “Harry, there are three angels here on your bed.” A hint of a smile crossed his lips. Then I added, “And Michael the Archangel is here, too.” And with that he really broke into a smile.
The next night Wes Penner stopped by and prayed with him. He had been really agitated but when Wes prayed, he calmed down. Fifteen minutes later he passed into God’s presence. Companionshipinstead of aloneness. Priceless!
Friends provide encouragement when we fall, companionship when we are alone, and third, …
Protection when under attack. (12) “Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves.” The enemy that is attacking us may be someone at work or school, someone jealously spreading rumors, someone capitalizing on our former mistakes to keep us down, or someone who is simply misreading our intentions.
At a time like that we need someone to come along and say, “Wait a minute, I know him or her, and you’re not judging the situation rightly!”
When I was pastor here back in the early 80’s, there was a family in the church that got sideways with me. I don’t know who was at fault, probably both of us, but I recall that Harry came alongside. He didn’t take my side because he was very close to the other family, but he let me know that he cared about me and would help in any way he could. All of us need the protection of friends like that.
Solomon concludes his treatise on loneliness with a proverb at the end of verse 12: “A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.” So far he has talked only of two individuals; then suddenly he mentions a cord of “three” strands. Why? Some have suggested that the third strand that is needed to make any relationship solid and lasting is God. That’s possible; in fact, it’s absolutely true. I’m not sure how any marriage lasts without God at the center, and most don’t.
But it’s also possible that Solomon is saying in effect, if two friends provide for each another encouragement in failure, companionship when lonely, and protection when attacked, three friends are even better and stronger. Harry was never exclusive in his friendships; there was always room for one more.
The value of friends is priceless, but, unfortunately, friends don’t just happen, do they? We have to invest in them. We live in a culture and society that is becoming increasingly privatized and individualized. Social media takes the place of relationships. Church culture is such that people are constantly asking, “What can you do for me?” rather than “What can I do for the family?”
Harry, on the other hand, made a commitment to a little body of believers back at 10th and Oliver in 1962, and 60 years later we celebrate his faithfulness to that same body of believers!
The best way to have friends is to be one, and Harry was that to so many. He always treated me as his pastor, but far more important to me, he considered me his friend.
I would be remiss if I did not conclude by focusing on the friendship that meant the most to Harry. Jesus said in John 15:13, “Greater love has no one that this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.” That was not offered just as a general truth; it was a prediction of Jesus’ own laying down of His life on the Cross for us. Jesus died, not to pay for his own sins, for He had none, but rather to pay for ours. In 1962 Harry came forward at the little Free Church on Oliver and committed his life to Christ. He never regretted that decision. He never failed to revel in the grace and mercy of God, a grace greater than our sin. Will you pray with me?
Prayer: Father, thank you for the enormous privilege that has been ours to know Harry. We will miss him terribly, but we know we are not saying goodbye, just “see you later.” Thank you for the way he invested in each of us. Thank you that he pointed us to the Savior. May Susie and Jed, and Julie and Marty, Jimmy and Tom, and Harry’s grandkids and great grandkids all revel in the good memories and great legacy Harry have left them.
Thank you most of all for the Lord Jesus, who gave His life that we might have life and have it more abundantly. In Jesus’ name. Amen.
Closing hymns: Harry asked for three hymns to be sung at his memorial service. He also told us why he chose them. First,
What a Friend We Have in Jesus:
“When Susie was taking organ lessons, I picked up one of her lesson books (very basic!) and taught myself this song. So for a long time it has been one of my favorites. (Harry on the organ! That’s something I would love to have seen!)”
Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing:
“During our first short-term mission trip to Mexico, one of the natives played this song in the little village church on a guitar. It may have been the only song he knew because he played it over and over. Then when I looked at the words, it stayed with me as the great hymn it is.”
Sitting at the Feet of Jesus
“This is the hymn that describes the blessed hope we have in Jesus. This is where we will be if we know Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior—at the feet of Jesus. As people celebrate my homegoing, they can be sure that’s where I am.”
Then Harry concludes, “My hope and prayer is that anyone who does not have the assurance of these three hymns in their heart and life will receive Christ as Savior. Now is the time, not tomorrow or any other time. Believe me, it will be the greatest decision you will ever make in your life.”
Conclusion by Josh Black:
Sometimes we think of Harry only in his donut ministry. But so much other ministry at took place. I want to offer a bit of a charge to you as we conclude his service.
When I came to this church 24 years ago, Harry was already 70 years old. So, all of my memories of Harry are from 70-94 years of age. And what I saw was faithful service—during a time when most people stop serving the church. Their kids are gone, they’ve finished their work, now they begin pursuing other retirement ventures. But Harry finished well, serving Christ and his church. That’s the example and charge I want to leave you with today.
As we consider our own death, which is coming, the question is how will we live our lives? More specifically, how will we live the latter days of our lives. Let me conclude with Hebrews 12:1-2:
“Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, 2 fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.”