SERIES: David: A Person After God’s Heart
Dealing With Boneheads
SPEAKER: Michael P. Andrus
Introduction: I learned something shocking this week: Wyatt Earp’s wife Josie died the year I was born–1944. Honest. Now that may confirm what some of you suspected–that I am really old, but what I wish you would take from it is that some events that seem ancient and remote are really rather recent and relevant. Wyatt Earp himself died during the lifespan of many people in this room–on January 13, 1929. He was once a member of the police force here in Wichita, well-known for gambling, drinking, womanizing, and fighting Indians. Today our culture winks at those first three activities as fairly normal, but we are all scandalized by our country’s treatment of Native Americans. Indeed, it is one of the saddest chapters in the history of our great nation–a story of plunder, displacement, massacre, and near extermination. And it wasn’t that long ago!
Let me share another amazing fact. There are some in this room who were born before women had the right to vote! Ruth Egbert was 10 years old when women were finally granted the privilege of voting (I can say that because Ruth is not embarrassed about her age). Furthermore, just forty-five years before Ruth was born, polygamy and slavery were both legal in some parts of the United States.[i]
What’s my point? I mention these things to remind you that there are some very sad and embarrassing things about the recent history of this great nation of America that none of us today would stomach for a moment. Of course, in many other respects we have lost considerable ethical ground and become even more primitive and pagan than the Wyatt Earps of a previous generation–for example, in our open acceptance of abortion, sexual promiscuity, gambling, divorce, and pornography.
I think it is important for us to consciously recognize these things about ourselves and our history before we come to the OT with too much of a self-righteous attitude. In our Scripture passage today, and through much of our journey ahead over the next several months, we are going to come across a number of events that will cause revulsion and even shock. We will find massacres, polygamy, political corruption, wars of conquest, women being abused and treated as property, etc., and if we’re not careful we can find ourselves looking at the ancient Israelites as ethical Neanderthals, wondering how God could ever tolerate such behavior or whether OT books like 2 Samuel have any relevance to our enlightened and civilized society today.
Well, I think 2 Samuel is extremely relevant, because we are not that far advanced beyond the Israelite culture of 1000 B.C. (and in some ways less so). Just as we do not celebrate the evils of our own national past, and just as we do not blame God for our own ethical lapses, so we should not for a moment blame Him for the obnoxious behavior found in the lives of the ancient Israelites. These behaviors, friends, are not given to us as examples to follow but to avoid.
One of the most amazing things to me about the Bible has always been its incredible honesty. It does not whitewash or sugarcoat the history of the people of God. Its greatest heroes are often its worst sinners. God is working out His will through the muck and mire of human sin, not apart from it.
Now that’s kind of a general introduction which I think is foundational to much that we are going to be seeing in this book of 2 Samuel. This is not entirely a new series; we are continuing a study of the life of David from last summer, but our focus now is going to be less on leadership (you’ll remember that series was entitled “Leadership in Difficult Times”) and more on what it means to become “A Person After God’s Heart.” That’s the epitaph that David was granted by the prophet Samuel (1 Samuel 13:14). It is in this second book of Samuel that we see even more clearly the process through which David becomes such a person.
I have entitled my message this morning, “Dealing with Boneheads.” That’s what Eugene Peterson calls the main characters in today’s text. Every one of us has such people in our lives. Sometimes they are called Irregular People, or VDP’s (Very Draining People), or just plain jerks. These people may be family members, co-workers, fellow students, a boss, a teacher. What do you do with boneheads? You may try to avoid them, but sometimes you just can’t. You may you try to change them; usually they don’t change. If you fight them, you often you end up wounding yourself. For the most part David surrenders them to God and lets Him handle them.
Our text today is two chapters from 2 Samuel. It’s too long of a portion to read, but I want to use as my key verse 2 Samuel 3:39. David is speaking and he says, “Today, though I am the anointed king, I am weak, and these sons of Zeruiah are too strong for me. May the LORD repay the evildoer according to his own deeds!” Let me paraphrase that and put it in a form each of us might be able to express: “Lord, You have given me a job to do, but I can’t seem to make much headway because of the boneheads in my path, the difficult people in my life. I could try to get away from them or even eliminate them, but I choose instead to trust You to deal with them in Your own way and in Your own time!”
Let me do a bit of review. David, you will recall, has spent years in exile in Philistine territory, hiding from Saul, the first king of Israel. God had promised David that he would be king in place of Saul, and he had even been anointed as king by the prophet Samuel when he was still a teenager. But more than a decade passed with Saul relentlessly pursuing David to remove him as a threat to Saul’s throne. David lived in caves and among the mortal enemies of Israel–the Philistines—suffering immensely at the hands of Saul, yet he consistently refused to fight back against the king. Even though David had several opportunities to kill Saul and seize the kingdom that had been promised to him by God, he refused to touch the Lord’s anointed, choosing instead to wait on God’s timing. The Lord had put Saul in office, and David believe the Lord will have to remove him.
And the Lord did just that. Now that Saul is dead, killed by the Philistines in a battle on Mt. Gilboa, one would expect David to rejoice that his mortal enemy has been removed, but instead he shocks us by lamenting and grieving the death of Saul. Phil shared that account very effectively last Sunday, focusing on our need to grieve well.
What is even more amazing to me, however, is that now that Saul is dead, David still does not seize the day. I would expect him to immediately return to Israel and grab the throne that is rightfully his. Instead, he patiently waits for God’s time. The first verse of 2 Samuel 2 tells us,
In the course of time (notice that he’s not in any hurry), David inquired of the LORD. “Shall I go up to one of the towns of Judah?” he asked.
The LORD said, “Go up.”
David asked, “Where shall I go?”
“To Hebron,” the LORD answered.
This verse reflects what has consistently been the difference between Saul and David. Saul was headstrong and independent. Occasionally he would seek the will of God, or at least pretend to do so, but one consistently gets the impression that it’s just for show–he will go his own way no matter what God says. But David is different–he inquires of the Lord and then waits for the Lord to clear his path.
Well, hasn’t God cleared his path? No, not quite. His chief rival is gone, but there are still boneheads in the way. The first two we meet are a man named Abner, the son of Ner and the commander of Saul’s army, and Ish-Bosheth, the son of Saul. I want to suggest that they represent the fact that . . .
There are boneheads who resist God’s purposes with force. (2:12-32)
Ish-Bosheth would be the rightful heir of Saul’s throne if God had not rejected the house of Saul and appointed David as the leader of a new dynasty. Abner knows that, but he is not about to give up his power as commander of Saul’s army. So he anoints Ish-Bosheth as king over all Israel except for the tribe of Judah. So here we have David reigning over one small tribe in the city of Hebron while 11/12ths of the kingdom is being ruled by Saul’s son. As a matter of fact, Ish-Bosheth is not much of a ruler; he is a mere puppet for the strong man Abner.
Mind you, this is more than just a mere inconvenience to David, a slight delay in God’s promise. Verse 11 tells us that “the length of time David was king in Hebron over the house of Judah was seven years and six months!” God is teaching David patience. Having waited for over a decade for God to remove Saul, he now has to wait 7 ½ more years before he becomes king over the whole nation.
By the way, it is not unusual for God’s servants to discover that they have to spend time in places like “Hebron” before arriving in “Jerusalem,” and some never arrive. They see little success as men measure it, little of the power and glory they anticipated, but they continue to be faithful because of the promises of God. Like David, so long as they know their eventual reign is secure, they are content.
Meanwhile Abner, according to vs. 12ff, is not content with the power he has and becomes aggressive toward David. He brings a small army and comes to Gibeon, a town near Hebron, David’s capital. Joab, the commander of David’s army (and another Bonehead, as we will see in a moment), goes out to meet Abner. The possibility of civil war is very real, but Abner suggests that the two sides engage in representative combat, a not-uncommon practice in that day. Twelve young men from each side would engage in a wrestling match, with the winning side declared the victor. Joab agrees to the plan. Unfortunately, the wrestling match gets out of hand, and they all stab each other to death. What starts out as an athletic contest turns into a riot and ends in a massacre. Soon the rest of the troops join in, and according to verse 17, “the battle that day was very fierce, and Abner and the men of Israel were defeated by David’s men.” The final body count is Israel 360, Judah 20.
We read this and think, “This is senseless. Violence is a stupid way to settle differences.” There’s no moral cause at stake here; there’s no spiritual issue they are fighting for. These men are just obsessed with their own importance, trying to establish their own power, indulging their respective vanities.[ii] Eugene Peterson asks a good question:
Why does the Bible have this stuff in it? If God is working here, speaking here, why don’t things work out better? Why don’t people behave better? Why are boneheads like Joab and Abner allowed to take up so much space? If God is at the center of things, why does history get so messed up?
The answer is quite obvious, even if uncongenial. This is the context and company in which God chooses to work out our salvation.[iii]
You see, Abner and Joab are also in our personal stories, and the sooner we get used to it the better. We all have wonderful companions in the faith who serve as examples and mentors, men and women of grace and beauty, loyalty and prayer. But we also find ourselves dealing with jerks like Abner and Joab under many aliases.
At this point we are introduced to two more boneheads–Abishai and Asahel, the two brothers of Joab. Asahel, we are told, “was as fleet-footed as a wild gazelle,” and he starts chasing Abner. In fact, let’s read this strange story starting in verse 19 of chapter 2:
He (i.e., Asahel, Joab’s brother) chased Abner, turning neither to the right nor to the left as he pursued him. Abner looked behind him and asked, “Is that you, Asahel?”
“It is,” he answered.
Then Abner said to him, “Turn aside to the right or to the left; take on one of the young men and strip him of his weapons.” But Asahel would not stop chasing him.
Again Abner warned Asahel, “Stop chasing me! Why should I strike you down? How could I look your brother Joab in the face?”
But Asahel refused to give up the pursuit; so Abner thrust the butt of his spear into Asahel’s stomach, and the spear came out through his back. He fell there and died on the spot. And every man stopped when he came to the place where Asahel had fallen and died.”
Asahel is dispatched, but his two brothers, Joab and Abishai, continue to pursue Abner until Abner and his men take a stand on top of a hill. Abner calls out to Joab (verse 26), “Must the sword devour forever? Don’t you realize that this will end in bitterness? How long before you order your men to stop pursuing their brothers?” He conveniently overlooks the fact that he is the one who started this whole thing. But now, having lost 360 soldiers already, he wants a cease-fire. Joab accepts the proposal, and Abner and his men are allowed to return home. (But Joab doesn’t forget that Abner has killed his brother Asahel; he is only biding his time to take revenge).
Meanwhile David is waiting on God to clean up this mess. Chapter 3 opens with the observation that “the war between the house of Saul and the house of David lasted a long time. David grew stronger and stronger, while the house of Saul grew weaker and weaker.” God is inexorably working to bring about His will, despite boneheads like Abner and Ish-bosheth, who openly oppose David, or the three sons of Zeruiah, who are allegedly on David’s side but are more interested in violence than in following God’s purposes.
Let me try to apply this strange story to our lives today. There are still those who resist God’s purposes with force. There are many both within and without the Church who regularly join the Abners and Ish-bosheths and Pilates and Pharisees who say, “We do not want this man to reign over us” (to quote Luke 19:14). And this kingdom conflict will continue, in one form or another, until Jesus comes in power and great glory. We must not allow the defiance of current-day Abners to deter us or depress us or cause us to surrender in the battle. It can certainly do so.[iv]
I find many Christians despairing over the cultural trends of our own time. They see boneheads like the lawyers of the ACLU successfully eliminating Christianity, the Ten Commandments, and even Christmas, from public discourse. They see other boneheads in Congress filibustering the nomination of conservative judges who believe in strict constructionism of the constitution, which is ultimately the only protection we have against social and moral anarchy. They see still others in PETA (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals) demanding equality with humans for chickens and lab mice, while at the same time arrogantly defending the right to abortion.
When we see these things happening, it can cause us to despair of all hope, to withdraw from the world, the public schools, and the exchange of ideas, and to develop a fortress mentality. Or we can do what David did when he was confronted with boneheads–patiently wait on the Lord to clear the path and strengthen his hand. I want you to know that God is still on His throne; He still has a plan and a purpose; His timetable is not our timetable. We may have to wait a decade or a lifetime, but God will accomplish His purposes.
But perhaps there are some irregular people very close to you who almost bring you to despair. You can ignore the ACLU, for the most part, or Congress, or Peta. But you can’t ignore a family member or a church leader or a boss who seems bent on resisting the purposes of God. What do you do with them? Well, there’s no easy answer to that, but the one thing I gain from David’s example is that it’s not ultimately our responsibility to fix them. We can pray for them; we can try to establish boundaries for them; we may just have to tolerate them. But ultimately we must realize that God is working out His purposes through them, and if we take control of the process, we may actually end up thwarting the purposes of God.[v]
In chapter 3, verse 6 we are still following Abner’s story, but now he seems to portray another kind of bonehead–one who promotes God’s purposes but for the wrong reasons and with wrong motives.
There are boneheads who promote God’s purposes but for the wrong reasons and wrong motives. (3:1-11)
In the last chapter Abner resisted David’s kingship by force; now in chapter 3 he goes over to David’s side, but with wrong motives. Let me try to relate the story briefly. Saul had a concubine named Rizpah and Ish-Bosheth accuses Abner of sleeping with her. In the ancient Near East “the man who took over the harem of the deceased king thereby asserted his claim to succession to the throne.”[vi] Ish-Bosheth seems to fear that Abner is no longer satisfied with being the power behind the throne; he wants the crown itself. Whether that was really Abner’s motive (or whether he even committed the deed), we are not told (it is interesting that he doesn’t deny it), but he is so incensed by Ish-bosheth’s fuss over the concubine, whom he views as just a piece of property, that he decides to abandon him and pull the northern tribes into David’s camp. Look at 3:8-11:
Abner was very angry because of what Ish-Bosheth said and he answered, “Am I a dog’s head–on Judah’s side? This very day I am loyal to the house of your father Saul and to his family and friends. I haven’t handed you over to David. Yet now you accuse me of an offense involving this woman! May God deal with Abner, be it ever so severely, if I do not do for David what the LORD promised him on oath and transfer the kingdom from the house of Saul and establish David’s throne over Israel and Judah from Dan to Beersheba.” Ish-Bosheth did not dare to say another word to Abner, because he was afraid of him.
Abner begins negotiations with David to turn the eleven northern tribes over to him.[vii] He says to David (verse 21):
Let me go at once and assemble all Israel for my lord the king, so that they may make a compact with you, and that you may rule over all that your heart desires.” So David sent Abner away, and he went in peace.
What is Abner’s motive here? Does he really care that God has anointed David to be king? Is he loyal to David? Don’t bet on it. I think he sees the handwriting on the wall. He sees David getting stronger and Ish-Bosheth getting weaker, and he wants to be on the winning side. Perhaps he has his sights set on Joab’s job as commander of David’s army. He is now supporting God’s purposes through David, but clearly for the wrong reasons.
Abner here reminds me of a story Donald Grey Barnhouse once told concerning little Willie, who had crawled out on the ice and rescued a playmate who had fallen through. Praise and admiration were being heaped on him. Then a lady asked him, “Tell us, my boy, how you were brave enough to risk your life to save your friend.” Willie responded, “I had to–he had my skates on.”
Do we find Abners (or Willies) in the Church today, doing right things for wrong reasons? Are there those who come to church primarily for business contacts, or because it helps their reputation or status? Are there those who are in the ministry for what they can get out of it? (Think of the lavish lifestyles of many of the leading TV preachers). Are there those who seek church office because they like the power and influence it gives them? Unfortunately, yes. This shouldn’t shock us, for after all, the twelve disciples themselves crassly displayed their Abner-esque attitudes at the Last Supper: “Who is to be the greatest in the Kingdom?”
But perhaps we should be looking at our own lives rather than at the Twelve. Dale Ralph Davis writes cogently,
Though I profess to care only about Jesus’ kingship, I fear I am far more concerned about my place in his regime than with the honor of his name. I want to be first in my area of the Christian Ghetto, recognized, appreciated, well-received; under the guise of service in the kingdom I crave all the strokes I can.[viii]
Abner is not dead. Some of us know him all too well.
How should we respond when we see this sort of thing? If it’s in our own life, then repentance is in order. What if we see it in others? That’s more difficult. Jesus said there would always be tares among the wheat, and we shouldn’t consider it our duty to root them out. That’s the angels’ job at the time of the Second Coming. I don’t think that means we should be lax in our choice of leaders or that we should fail to discipline those who flagrantly violate Christian conduct. But I think it does mean that we should not consider ourselves God’s personal watchdogs over other people’s lives. David undoubtedly could see through Abner’s motives, but he decided to let God could deal with Abner in His way and in His time.
Now there is a third kind of bonehead I see in this story, represented by Joab, and that is one who is only concerned for his own purposes.
There are boneheads who are only concerned for their own purposes. (3:23-39)
Joab has always been on the right side, i.e., he is David’s commander, but frankly he cares little about God’s purposes or David’s–he seems only concerned for himself. As the story continues in verse 23, we find that Joab returning from a raid to discover that David has been negotiating with Abner and has sent him away “in peace.” The technical meaning of that phrase, repeated three times, is undoubtedly that David has offered him safe passage. Joab is upset about this, probably for two reasons. First, Abner is Joab’s counterpart in the enemy army and perhaps a threat to Joab’s position if a merger occurs. But in addition, Abner is the one who killed Joab’s fleet-footed brother, Asahel. Joab doesn’t trust him and complains bitterly to David for showing him grace and offering him protection.
In fact, without David’s knowledge Joab takes it upon himself to pursue Abner, talk him into returning to Hebron, and then under the guise of friendship, stab him in the stomach and kill him. When David hears about it, he is mortified and strongly asserts his innocence of Abner’s death. He calls down curses on Joab and his family, as we see in verse 29:
May his blood fall upon the head of Joab and upon all his father’s house! May Joab’s house never be without someone who has a running sore or leprosy or who leans on a crutch or who falls by the sword or who lacks food.”
Interestingly, David does not execute Joab or even remove him from his command. In fact, Joab remains a powerful individual (but still a bonehead) throughout David’s reign and into Solomon’s (1 Kings 2:32). Instead, David orders him to put on sackcloth and publicly mourn Abner’s death, and David himself walks behind the casket and gives a eulogy. An interesting observation is made in verse 36:
All the people took note and were pleased; indeed, everything the king did pleased them, so on that day all the people and all Israel knew that the king had no part in the murder of Abner son of Ner.
What should we learn from this? I think it is this–that God’s way of dealing with boneheads and antagonists and irregular people in our lives is not to assign us to be judge and jury of them, or for us to eliminate them. Often, and for the most part, God wants us to patiently surrender such people to Him. He knows what to do with them better than we do. If they need elimination, God is perfectly capable of accomplishing that. We will gain favor with God and man when we inquire of Him, wait patiently for Him, and show grace to those who are in it for themselves.
Conclusion: I warned you when we started today that we were going to deal with some strange and uncomfortable texts of Scripture. But what I want you to take home is the attitude of grace and patience that David exhibited. It is actually very similar to the attitude of grace and patience exhibited by the Son of David– Jesus Himself. Some like to think of Jesus as an activist, driving the moneychangers out of the temple or calling the scribes and Pharisees “white-washed tombs.” But the fact is it was far more in character for Jesus to endure the boneheads of His day, to show grace to them, to wait patiently for His Father to deal with them.
And I’m so glad for that, because in many ways I am a bonehead, an irregular person, occasionally a jerk, a person who resists God’s purposes at times, who sometimes seeks His purposes for the wrong reasons, and who is sometimes only concerned for my own purposes. Yet God is patient with me; He shows me grace; He gives me opportunities for repentance and restoration. He loves me enough to provide a Savior.
DATE: January 9, 2005
Tags:
Boneheads (irregular people)
Grace
Patience
[i] It is also true that the effects of slavery didn’t go away even with the Emancipation Proclamation signed by Abraham Lincoln. A few years after we were married, Jan and I made a trip to Alabama to visit her grandfather. On our way through Mississippi we stopped at a gas station. When I attempted to enter the bathroom, the attendant said to me, “Don’t go in there. That’s for black people (only he used a racial epithet). Whites use the one indoors.”
[ii] The story of David is for a while relegated to footnotes, but if we search for it, his kingwork is still detectable: acting generously (with Jabesh-gilead, 2 Sam. 2:5-7), raising a family (2 Sam. 3:2-5), enacting a covenant (2 Sam. 3:12-16), writing poetry, and grieving honestly (2 Sam. 3:31-37). See Eugene Peterson, Leap Over a Wall, 128.
[iii] Peterson, 129.
[iv] Dale Ralph Davis, 2 Samuel: Out of Every Adversity, 33.
[v] Meanwhile David continues to rule the tribe of Judah from Hebron. During the 7 ½ years he is there, six sons are born to him by six different women–all listed in chapter 3, verses 2-5. I remind you again, don’t judge this by current standards, anymore than you want to judge our own country a hundred years ago by current standards. God is not setting David up as an example of ideal marital status here–just being honest with how things were.
[vi] Davis, 37.
[vii] David has only one demand–that Abner and Ish-Bosheth give him Michal, the daughter of Saul, to be his wife. Perhaps you will recall that David had once been married to Michal but Saul had taken her away and given her to a man named Paltiel (1 Samuel 25:44). David still loved her and wanted her back. In a scene filled with pathos we read in chapter 3, verse 15:
So Ish-Bosheth gave orders and had her taken away from her husband Paltiel son of Laish. Her husband, however, went with her, weeping behind her all the way to Bahurim. Then Abner said to him, “Go back home!” So he went back.
Whether David is right or wrong in this matter is difficult to say; what is pretty clear is that Michal has no personal rights as a woman but is treated as a piece of property. Once again I remind you of the Bible’s honesty–these are not actions to emulate. By the way, I’m not sure why Ish-Bosheth cooperates in this whole sordid affair, seeing that Abner is negotiating the surrender of his throne, but perhaps he is simply too weak to object.
[viii] Davis, 41.