SERIES: The Book of Romans
Brothers and Sisters in Christ
Introduction: A pastor I know wrote the following:
A special blessing in my life over the past four years has been getting to know a friend who is a medical doctor. He has a fascinating story about how he came to Christ. After suffering through two disastrous marriages and divorces, he went on a search for meaning and purpose in his life. He decided to volunteer one day a week to work in an AIDS clinic in San Francisco. There he watched many young men die. But one man in particular deeply touched him. This man revealed that at times he had as many as five or six sexual encounters with men a day. When my friend asked him why, he replied that he was looking for love. My friend watched this young man die—lonely, empty, isolated, without family or love. This made a profound impact on him and was instrumental in motivating him to pursue the same goal, love.
I think it could be better stated that love came looking for him, for God sent him a beautiful Christian woman (who later became his wife). Through her he began attending a home Bible study and learned about Christ. On June 25, 1984, at 1:38 in the morning, he woke up and felt the presence of Christ in his room. He said that presence gave forth a love he had never known before. It was then that he gave his life to Jesus Christ.
Since that day, he has been on a journey of love, for he discovered that he was adopted into a worldwide family with no age limits or distinctions. Last year he and I traveled into the former Soviet Union together. There I watched him minister in love to more than 100 people. With his doctor’s bag, he was able to treat people who were sick and hurting. Then he told them about his life and taught them the wonderful message of love in Jesus Christ from the Scripture.
When we went backpacking, he found another family of brothers and sisters. In his house, there is a photograph of that family on his wall—21 people hiding out in the mountains, teaching the Scripture and sharing together. These are his brothers and sisters for life.
In Mark 10:29-30 Jesus said to His disciples:
Truly I say to you, there is no one who has left house or brothers or sisters or mother or father or children or farms, for My sake and for the Gospel’s sake, but that he shall receive a hundred times as much now in the present age, houses and brothers and sisters and mothers and children and farms, along with persecutions; and in the age to come, eternal life.
I believe that promise, and I have seen it fulfilled time and again in people who sacrificed relationships or jobs or personal wealth or degrees for the sake of Christ, only to receive back many times what they sacrificed. I want to focus this morning on that part of Jesus’ statement which promises close family relationships to take the place of any we may lose by following Him.
In fact, our Scripture text today is a demonstration of the truth of Jesus’ promise as lived out in the experience of the Apostle Paul. He sacrificed a lot of relationships to serve Christ, but he received back scores of spiritual brothers and sisters and mothers and fathers and children in return. We do not know the names of any of Paul’s blood relatives—he didn’t talk about them—but we know the names of many of his spiritual relatives. Let’s read the first sixteen verses of Romans 16:
I commend to you our sister Phoebe, a servant of the church in Cenchrea. {2} I ask you to receive her in the Lord in a way worthy of the saints and to give her any help she may need from you, for she has been a great help to many people, including me. {3} Greet Priscilla and Aquila, my fellow workers in Christ Jesus. {4} They risked their lives for me. Not only I but all the churches of the Gentiles are grateful to them. {5} Greet also the church that meets at their house.
Greet my dear friend Epenetus, who was the first convert to Christ in the province of Asia. {6} Greet Mary, who worked very hard for you. {7} Greet Andronicus and Junias, my relatives who have been in prison with me. They are outstanding among the apostles, and they were in Christ before I was. {8} Greet Ampliatus, whom I love in the Lord. {9} Greet Urbanus, our fellow worker in Christ, and my dear friend Stachys. {10} Greet Apelles, tested and approved in Christ. Greet those who belong to the household of Aristobulus.
{11} Greet Herodion, my relative. Greet those in the household of Narcissus who are in the Lord. {12} Greet Tryphena and Tryphosa, those women who work hard in the Lord. Greet my dear friend Persis, another woman who has worked very hard in the Lord. {13} Greet Rufus, chosen in the Lord, and his mother, who has been a mother to me, too. {14} Greet Asyncritus, Phlegon, Hermes, Patrobas, Hermas and the brothers with them. {15} Greet Philologus, Julia, Nereus and his sister, and Olympas and all the saints with them. {16} Greet one another with a holy kiss. All the churches of Christ send greetings.
We have come here to the end of what is probably the most important single document ever written—the book of Romans. It’s more important than the Magna Carta, more important than the Declaration of Independence, more important than the U.S. Constitution. But frankly, this seems like an odd way to conclude the high and lofty themes of this epistle. Why does God bother to use precious space in His written revelation for greetings to people like Apaenetus, Ampliatus, Tryphaena and Tryphosa, Asyncritus, and Philologus? I would like to suggest several reasons why such lists appear here and elsewhere in God’s Word: 1. It shows us that God cares about individuals and knows them by name.
2. It demonstrates that God keeps records on His people, noting the areas in which they have given faithful service.
3. It shows us that people of all backgrounds, races, social status and education are of equal importance to God and to His church.
4. It highlights the fact that the Church is a family and relationships are extremely important.
I’d like to begin with the fact that
Brothers and sisters in Christ come in all categories.
We see in this list Corinthians and Romans, women and men, singles and couples, slaves and high government officials, Jews and Gentiles, homeowners and itinerants. Twenty-seven individuals are mentioned in these first 16 verses, with eight more named in verses 21-23. That’s not counting a number who are mentioned without their names being given.
Since there are so many names in this list, we will not try to discuss each of them in order but rather treat them thematically.
Prominent women. I think there is significance in the fact that fully one-third of the greetings Paul extends go to women. The Apostle has often been accused of being the Church’s greatest chauvinist and of even being a misogynist. But the fact is Paul expressed more affirmation of women and placed fewer restrictions on them than any writer of the ancient world. He did not think they should usurp authority over men in the home or in the church, because he was convinced that from Creation God assigned headship to men in these two spheres of influence, but aside from this, there was no area of service from which he excluded them in the Church.
The two most prominent women in this list were undoubtedly Phoebe and Priscilla. Phoebe may well be the one who carried this precious epistle from Corinth to Rome. Paul describes her in four different ways—as his sister, a servant, a saint, and a helper. The word “servant” in verse 1 is the exact same word as “deacon,” found in the list of church officers in 1 Timothy and Titus. While we cannot be certain whether the term is being used in its official or unofficial sense when applied to Phoebe, we can be certain that she was considered a valuable minister to the Church.
At the end of verse 2 Paul specifically affirms Phoebe as the helper of many, himself included. The term “helper” might be better translated “patron.” Some scholars believe she was a woman of some financial means and used her resources to subsidize Paul and others so they could be set aside for full-time ministry. This can be a great ministry in the body of Christ. From time to time I have known of people of means who considered it their own special ministry to support young men and women through seminary and then for years in their chosen fields of service.
Priscilla is mentioned in verse 3. She, along with her husband Aquila, were part of a team that had been associated with Paul since his first days at Corinth. Whenever they are named in the NT, Priscilla is always mentioned first. It was very unusual for ancient writers to mention a wife before her husband, so this probably indicates that Priscilla was the more gifted and the more prominent. No matter where they lived, Priscilla always opened her home to the people of God.
Permit me to call attention to three other women in the list. Look at verse 12: “Greet Tryphena and Tryphosa, those women who work hard in the Lord. Greet my dear friend Persis, another woman who has worked very hard in the Lord.” The Greek word for “workers” literally means “workers to the point of exhaustion,” and the Apostle must have written this with a smile on his lips, for the names Tryphena and Tryphosa mean respectively “dainty” and “delicate.” It’s as if he were saying, “You two may be called ‘dainty’ and ‘delicate’; but you belie your names by working like Trojans for the sake of Christ.”[i]
Courageous couples. Let’s consider Priscilla and Aquila again. Verse 3: “Greet Priscilla and Aquila, my fellow workers in Christ Jesus. They risked their lives for me. Not only I but all the churches of the Gentiles are grateful to them.” We are told in the book of Acts that this couple were Jewish tentmakers in Rome. However, when Emperor Claudius expelled all the Jews from Rome in A.D. 49, Priscilla and Aquila found themselves exiled to Corinth. It was there they met Paul, also a tentmaker, who happened to be in Corinth on his first missionary journey. They had the tremendous privilege of being discipled by the apostle for a year and a half.
After he trained them, Priscilla and Aquila followed Paul to Ephesus, where they in turn met and discipled a brilliant scholar named Apollos, giving him a full grasp of the Christian faith. When the edict of eviction was lifted upon Claudius’ death in A.D. 54, they were able to return to Rome, which is why Paul is sending them greetings now.
Wherever they went this couple had a church in their home. They must have had the gift of hospitality, as well as the gifts of evangelism and teaching. They were also courageous, for Paul says they risked their lives for him, though he doesn’t say how.
Another courageous couple is mentioned in verse 7: “Greet Andronicus and Junias, my relatives who have been in prison with me. They are outstanding among the apostles, and they were in Christ before I was.” Four facts are revealed about Adronicus and Junias:
1. They were related to Paul.
2. They did time with him.
3. They were outstanding apostles.
4. They accepted Christ before he did.
We don’t know what the blood relation was, but no doubt the spiritual relationship was even stronger. They were willing to go to prison with him, very possibly because they defended him during one of his many run-ins with the authorities.
When Paul calls this couple “apostles” it is important that we distinguish between the office of apostle and the gift of apostle. As far as I can tell in the Scriptures only 14 individuals ever held the office of Apostle: the Twelve whom Jesus chose, Matthias, who was chosen in Acts 1 by the Eleven to take Judas’ place after he committed suicide, and Paul himself, who was given a special dispensation of Apostleship, even though he did not fit all the criteria mentioned in Acts 1. The gift of apostle was available to many more. The gift is, I believe, a unique ability to plant the Church in pioneer areas. Andronicus and Junias were so good at what they did that Paul says they had an outstanding reputation among those with the gift of apostle.
Adoptive mothers. Verse 13 reads, “Greet Rufus, chosen in the Lord, and his mother, who has been a mother to me, too.” Before looking at this adoptive mother, let’s consider her son Rufus. There is only one other mention of Rufus in the NT, and that is in Mark 15:21. There we read, “A certain man from Cyrene, Simon, the father of Alexander and Rufus, was passing by on his way in from the country, and they forced him to carry the cross of Jesus.” Since Simon walked side by side with Jesus to Golgotha, you can imagine the impact this must have had on him. The love he saw in Jesus melted his heart, and now his son Rufus is prominent in the Church at Rome.
When he became a Christian on the Damascus Road it wasn’t long before Paul experienced rejection by his own relatives. It is quite possible that his own wife left him. But at some point it seems that Rufus’ mother adopted the apostle Paul as a son. Though I have never been rejected by my family, I have had several spiritual “mothers” who have adopted me. One I can think of is Velma Hartung. As a senior in high school, I was living with her and her husband Fred when I met my future wife many years ago in Kansas City. My parents had not yet sold our home here in Clayton, but Mom Hartung took me in, and even today, as a widow in her upper 80’s she prays for me. Dorothy Watkins, now retired as a receptionist at my former church in Wichita, is another.
I have several spiritual mothers here in this church, but considering my own advancing age, probably none of them would want to admit they are old enough to be my mother, spiritual or otherwise, so I won’t embarrass them this morning. But I would encourage the women of this church to imitate Rufus’ mother, and find some young person to whom you can become a spiritual mother or grandmother.
Single-minded singles. In verse 14 we read, “Greet Asyncritus, Phlegon, Hermes, Patrobas, Hermas and the brothers with them.” These men all had Greek names and were probably businessmen living in Rome and sharing the same residence. Their living quarters were evidently used also as a house church, or at least for the purposes of a fellowship group.
Then in verse 15 we see another singles’ group: “Greet Philologus, Julia, Nereus and his sister, and Olympas and all the saints with them.” These five also comprised some type of fellowship group. Dr. Barclay shares a fascinating possibility about one of these young people—Nereus. In A.D. 95 an event occurred which shocked Rome. Two of the most distinguished people in the city were condemned for being Christians. They were Flavius Clemens, who held the highest elective office (that of Consul or Mayor) and his wife Domatilla, who was also the niece of the Emperor Domitian. Flavius was executed and Domatilla was banished to the island of Pontia.
The point is this—the name of their chief household servant was Nereus. Is it possible, asks Barclay, that this Nereus whom Paul greets is the same person, and that through his witness Christianity entered the highest echelons of the Roman government?[ii]
Singles have the potential of significant ministry in the Body of Christ. They can be ready and available because they are not tied down by family responsibilities.
Sanctified slaves. Look at verse 10: “Greet those who belong to the household of Aristobulus. Greet Herodion, my relative. Greet those in the household of Narcissus who are in the Lord.” In the ancient world a person could have a number of slaves, but if he died without heirs, the estate, including the slaves, was absorbed into the imperial household under the name of the man. Thus, we have the “household of Aristobulus” and the “household of Narcissus”—technical terms for families of slaves that are now working for the Emperor.
This was God’s way of getting these servants of Christ into the highest echelons of the imperial government so they could witness of their faith in Christ. The government was penetrated with the Gospel, not from the top down, but from the bottom up through bold servants!
Another slave who is mentioned is Tertius in verse 22: “I, Tertius, who wrote down this letter, greet you in the Lord.” We know he was a slave because of his name. Tertius in Latin means “third.” In the ancient world a slave was given a number when he was born, not a name. Tertius did not let the fact that he was a slave keep him from learning to read and write, and here we find him as Paul’s secretary—writing down this great treatise.
Many of you work in service positions, such as waiters, clerks, secretaries, or nurses. Never undervalue your contribution to the Body of Christ!
Powerful but humble officials. Also in verse 22 we read of Erastus, who was director of public works for the city of Corinth, “in return for his aedileship laid (this pavement) at his own expense.”[iii] Apparently out of appreciation for the position he had been given he presented the city with a marble pavement he paid for himself. That is a far cry from what we see so often among politicians who are trying to line their own pockets at the expense of the taxpayer. I thank God for Christian officials and politicians.
All of these brothers and sisters were committed to the Lordship of Christ, were devoted to service, and gave a courageous witness to the world. They also considered themselves family.
So far this morning we have focused our attention on the fact that brothers and sisters in Christ come in all categories. The Body of Christ is diverse. But now I want us to consider the fact that brothers and sisters in Christ, with emphasis on gender, can be good friends with one another.
Brothers and sisters in Christ can be good friends.
We have already noted the solid number of women represented among the church workers at Rome who are greeted at the end of this great epistle. These women are not casual acquaintances of Paul, but rather they are deep personal friends. He had worked with them; in at least one case (Priscilla’s) he had enjoyed her hospitality, living in her home for over a year; he called these women “beloved;”and in the end he said, “Greet one another with a holy kiss.”
I want to pose a question that came to my attention through a rather provocative article I read in a Christian magazine: “Does Fellowship Include the Opposite Sex?”
Do men and women in the Church today have this kind of fellowship? Do we allow it? Should we allow it? Isn’t it dangerous to cultivate relationships with the opposite sex? A Christian woman whom I know asked a group of her female friends the following question: “Is there any man outside your immediate family with whom you are close friends?” Very few could answer in the affirmative, and those that did could name only one or at the most two. Friendliness is profuse; friendship is rare.[iv]
Perhaps our initial response is, “That’s the way it should be, or at least that’s the safe way. If we don’t develop friendships with the opposite sex, then we’re not likely to end up in affairs with them.” But could it be that because of our legitimate fear of illicit relationships we have actually shied away from that which is uniquely Christian? Have we thrown out the baby of friendship with the bathwater of sexual looseness?
Deep friendships between men and women were the norm, not the exception, in the NT. Jesus Himself set an example of deep friendship with women. In John 11:5 we read, “Jesus loved Martha and her sister and Lazarus.” The Apostle John shows not the slightest embarrassment in speaking of a love relationship between Jesus and Martha and between Jesus and Mary. And that in spite of the fact that this relationship existed in a culture where the sages condemned those who “talked much with womankind.” Jesus was modeling the kinds of relationships that were to be normal in the Church, though they were quite abnormal in His day.
In the book of Acts the family spirit among believers seems to have come almost by instinct to new Christians. As soon as Cornelius became a Christian, he invited Peter to stay with him for a few days. And when the first convert in Macedonia happened to be a woman, the same thing happened. Lydia said to Paul, Silas, Luke and others in Acts 16:15: “If you consider me a believer in the Lord, come and stay at my house.” And they did.
Now let’s return to Romans 16 to see how Paul concludes his list of greetings in verse 16: “Greet one another with a holy kiss.” Now whenever I’ve heard preachers discuss this verse, I’ve always been told that kissing in that culture was equivalent to handshaking in ours. In fact, Kenneth Taylor in the Living Bible actually translated Romans 16:16 that way: “Shake hands warmly with each other.” Most of us probably feel we are fulfilling this biblical instruction when we say “hello” on Sunday morning and extend a dead-fish handshake. We’re not.
The fact of the matter is that as I have researched the issue, I have discovered that kissing was notthe normal greeting between people in that day, especially not between men and women. In Roman culture the kiss was legally restricted to immediate blood relatives. And that is the point! The adoption of the kiss as the standard greeting in the Church demonstrates clearly that early Christians did not relate to one another as friends, but as family. They did not just say “hello”—they greeted one another as brothers and sisters and parents and children.[v]
Now I’m not on a crusade to generate a kissing frenzy at church, but what I would like to ask is this: “What can we do to recover, at least in part, the brother\sister relationship the early Church enjoyed?”
Suggestions for recovering the depth of brother\sister relationships the early Church enjoyed.
Or maybe I should first ask, “Do we want to recover it? Or are we so insecure in our relationships with the opposite sex that we just want to leave well enough alone?” I’m going to assume that most of us would like to see deeper relationships between men and women in the church if they could see how to accomplish it safely. So here are a few suggestions on how to bring it about.
First and foremost, if deeper relationships are to be possible between Christian men and women in the Church, we need to adopt a thoroughly biblical attitude toward sexual sin. We cannot condone it, we cannot excuse it, we cannot overlook it. Christian men and women cannot be hugging or kissing or even becoming good friends if they are not totally committed to sexual purity. But once we’re sure where we stand in regard to purity, then we are free to love others as Christ intended.
A second key ingredient if Christian men and women are to relate more biblically in the Church is that the full range of family relationships which Jesus promised us must be warmly nurtured. We need to have spiritual mothers and fathers, and spiritual sons and daughters, as well as spiritual brothers and sisters. In other words, we need to develop deep relationships with those who are chronologically and spiritually more mature than we are, because these people can hold us accountable and encourage us in our walk with Christ. We also need to develop warm relationships with children and young people, because they need our input in their lives, and they can also give us a fresh perspective on things. Then the brother\sister relationship will be seen as just one part of the whole Christian family.
A third key ingredient is that we must be willing to break with our culture. Our culture encourages us to be independent, self-sufficient, and even aloof. Don’t get close to people because you might get hurt. Don’t develop too close a friendship with someone of the same gender or someone might think you’re gay. Don’t develop too close a friendship with someone of the other sex, or someone might think you’re romantically involved. So we back off and hold people at arm’s length.
This is contradictory to everything we read in the NT about the Body of Christ. We need to admit that we need one another, and we must work hard to see every other believer as a brother, a sister, a son, a daughter, a father, a mother.
Conclusion: The opposite of love is not hate, it’s indifference! Let’s reverse the trends our computerized world has fostered and recklessly show how much we love one another. “Beloved, let us love one another; for love is of God, and he who loves is born of God and knows God.” (1 John 4:7-8)
Prayer: Our Father, we thank you for these names of men and women who long ago preceded us in the pilgrimage which is the Christian life. And what a testimony they left us! Men and women who were tested, tried, and approved, who stayed steadfast no matter what the circumstances. Men and women who really loved one another. We pray that you will grant to us, Lord, similar faith, that we too may be faithful in times of testing, persecution, and trouble. May we remain steadfast to the end. And may we love one another. Until you see fit to remove us, Lord, keep us at the task. In Jesus’ name, Amen.
DATE: January 21, 1996
Tags:
Women in the Church
Singles
Slaves
Government officials
Friendship
[i] Wlliam Barclay, The Letter to the Romans, 214.
[ii] Barclay, 216-217.
[iii] James Montgomery Boice, Romans, Vol. 4, The New Humanity, Romans 12-16, 1955.
[iv] Greg Thomson, “Does Fellowship Include the Opposite Sex?, Eternity Magazine, April, 1982,
34.
[v] Thomson, 36.