Conflict in the Church
Note: This sermon was preached in 1991. James 3:13-18 was covered by Associate Pastor Brad Harper, but the manuscript is not available.
Introduction: A father heard a commotion in his yard and looked outside to see his daughter and several playmates in a heated quarrel. When he reprimanded her his daughter explained, “We’re just playing church!” Actually, that’s not too hard a scenario to believe. One of my favorite books is entitled Great Church Fights. It was written by a Conservative Baptist pastor named Leslie B. Flynn, who has a marvelous sense of humor and considerable insight into both the Scriptures and human nature. In his book he examines the most significant conflicts in the New Testament, some of which were noble and some not so noble.
For example, he writes a chapter about the complaint of the Grecians against the Hebrews over the neglect of widows in Acts 6, another about Paul’s public rebuke of Peter for open prejudice toward Gentile believers in Gal. 2, and another about the sharp disagreement between Paul and Barnabas over whether to take Mark on their second missionary journey, which caused them to split up their great ministry team. Then there were the numerous divisions in the Corinthian church—over leaders, over lawsuits, and over prejudice at the Lord’s Table. There were also the two factions in Rome over whether to eat meat associated with sacrifices to idols and whether to observe the Sabbath.
At Philippi two prominent women, Euodia and Syntyche (often nick‑named Odious and Soon‑touchy), got into a spat which elicited an appeal from Paul for reconciliation. A love for preeminence led church‑boss Diotrephes to cast fellow believers out of the church. Greek scholar A. T. Robertson once wrote an article on Diotrephes for a Christian magazine, portraying him as one who wants to control a church according to his own whims. Subsequently 20 deacons from various parts of the country wrote the editor to cancel their subscriptions because of this “personal attack” made on them!
And those are just the more prominent conflicts. Without referring to any particular quarrel the Apostle Paul exhorted the Philippians to “do everything without complaining and arguing,” appealed to the Ephesians to “endeavor to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace,” pleaded with the Romans, “if it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone,” and he chided the Galatians for “biting and devouring one another.” That last phrase reminds me of a man who was bitten by a dog and became violently ill. The doctor explained, “You’ve been bitten by a rabid dog and you are dying of hydrophobia. There’s nothing I can do for you.” The stricken man asked for a pencil and paper, then spent several hours thinking and writing. On a return visit the doctor remarked, “You certainly are making a lengthy will.” The patient retorted, “I’m not making my will; I’m making a list of people I’m going to bite.” It’s no wonder someone wrote,
To dwell above with saints we love,
That will be grace and glory.
To live below with saints we know;
That’s another story!
The fact is some people avoid conflict at all costs, while others seem to be constantly on the lookout for a good fight. Neither approach is healthy. God wants us to be people of conviction and people of peace at the same time. But is that possible? I believe our text today can give us some significant help, but first it details the problem, namely that believers are at war with each other because they are at war with themselves because they are at war with God.
Believers at war with each other. (1)
Notice that James doesn’t ask whether there are fights and quarrels among us—he assumes it.
Some fights and quarrels in the church are legitimate and justified. None are spelled out here, but there are enough examples in the Bible to show that “peace at any price” is not a biblical concept. Paul was downright belligerent with Peter when he compromised the Christian faith, and he fought the Galatian heretics tooth and nail. Jesus berated the Scribes and Pharisees and even verbally abused them. There are clearly times when we must fight in the church. It’s worth it to fight for the fundamentals of the faith. It’s worth it to fight against legalism. It’s worth it to fight for purity of lifestyle. And it’s worth it to fight for the healing of broken marriages and the restoration of sinning believers to places of service. But James is clearly concerned about arguments and conflicts that could not be ascribed to righteous zeal but rather to selfish ambition. The fact of the matter is …
Most fights and quarrels in the church are not legitimate or justified. A friend of mine who wrote a book the Elders are studying together entitled, The Unity Factor, asserts that “the fiercest battles in our churches are seldom fought over theology. More often, they are fought over change, sometimes even the slightest change.”[i] They are also sometimes fought over personalities, over music preferences, over leadership style, over Roberts’ Rules of Order, and over injured feelings. Why? James makes an interesting connection here in the first verse. It is that believers are at war with one another because …
Believers at war with themselves. (2)
“What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don’t they come from your desires that battle within you? You want something but don’t get it. You kill and covet, but you cannot have what you want. You quarrel and fight.”
Frustrated desires lead to violence. I don’t know if the killing mentioned here is literal or figurative. Some people can kill with their looks or kill with their words, and I’m inclined to think that’s probably what is meant. But literal physical violence is not unknown in the history of the church. A few pastors could tell you about deacon meetings that ended in fist fights. Far more have ended with verbal violence—all due to frustrated desires.
What are some of those frustrated desires? Let’s name a few: power and influence certainly qualify. Some people desperately desire to be power brokers in the church; they want to be in on the decision‑making, and if those desires get frustrated, they can cause a lot of trouble. Others want position, not so much to influence as to be noticed. I remember a man in Wichita who wanted to be on the church’s Elder Board in the worst way. He wasn’t deemed qualified to be an Elder by the Nominating Committee, but they did suggest him for the Trustee Board. However, he deemed that a lesser position, got mad about it, and left the church.
Even good things can lead to frustrated desires. A person may wish to sing solos but isn’t invited, or to teach but people don’t respond, or to build friendships but people don’t seem to return the hospitality. If such disappointments are not handled properly, they can generate a spirit of contention. And that’s what was happening to James’ parishioners.
Well, what is the right way to handle our desires to prevent frustration? The answer is prayer. According to James the frustration is the result of prayer failure.
Frustrated desires result from prayer failure. Either we fail to pray at all or we pray with wrong motives. Clearly what God wants us to do with our desires is to take them to Him in prayer instead of getting so frustrated that we get angry, start gossiping, and then quarrel and fight over them. Let’s take, for example, this person who wants desperately to teach an adult Sunday School class. (I use that example because I am not aware of anyone here right now suffering from this particular frustration).
First, he should pray about that desire—ask God if He would move in the people in charge to open up an opportunity. But he must also examine his motives. Why does he want to teach? Is it because he’s convinced he has the gift of teaching? Is it because he loves to study and prepare? Is it because he loves people and wants to help them? Those are all good motives. Or could his motive be that he’s got some pet hobby‑horses he wants to ride, or because he’s got the gift of gab, or because teachers get a lot of attention? Listen again to what James says: “You do not have because you do not ask God. When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures.”
There are, of course, other applications of this verse. Consider the person who desperately desires to get rich. Can that frustrated desire cause problems in the church? Surely it can. If he sees someone else in the church who is extremely successful, he may feel resentment and look for ways to undermine the successful brother. What should he do instead? He should pray about his desire for more financial success. But even as he prays he must examine his motives. If he wants greater income so he can buy more things or build bigger barns to store up riches, God is unlikely to answer that kind of prayer.
Let’s face it friends. Believers are at war with each other because they are at war with themselves. Their desires are not met, so they get frustrated, so they fight. But let’s back up even one step closer to the source of the problem. Believers are at war with themselves usually because …
Believers at war with God. (4)
Look at verse 4: “You adulterous people, don’t you know that friendship with the world is hatred toward God? Anyone who chooses to be a friend of the world becomes an enemy of God.” The point is quite clear:
Friendship with the world makes one an enemy of God. The label “adulterous people” seems strange in a passage addressed to believers until one realizes that he is probably not referring to physical adultery, which hopefully would be relatively uncommon in the church, but rather spiritual adultery, which is very common in the church. This is, in fact, a term borrowed from the OT. God had brought Israel into a covenant relationship with Himself, but they had been unfaithful to God through idolatry, disobedience, and compromise with the pagan cultures around them. So the prophets accused the people of being spiritual adulterers.
James sees the same problem in the church of his day—too much fraternizing with the enemy. Christians don’t want to be different, to stand out in the crowd, so they borrow the world’s priorities. They want to enjoy worldly pleasures. But what they often fail to think about is that the world hates God. It’s not difficult to be a friend of the world and a friend of God at the same time; it’s impossible! That doesn’t mean it’s impossible to be a friend of worldly people but rather one can’t be a friend of the world‑system—meaning its priorities, its goals, its securities, its strategies.
Now this is a very important point for us to think about. Are we friends of the world? I’d have to think long and hard about that before answering. I think in all honesty that I am much too friendly with the world. I don’t indulge in its grossest habits, but in many subtle ways I follow its lead. What I must come to grips with is that to the extent that I allow that, I become an enemy of God. That’s serious stuff.
But James makes a second point regarding Christians at war with God. It’s not just one‑sided; it’s not just a case of us fighting against God through our love of the world. He’s active in this battle too.
Friendship with the world stirs up the jealousy of God. (5,6) I find this concept in verse 5, but it may not be obvious, especially if you are using the NIV or KJV. The fact is there is a major translation problem in verse 5 and almost every Bible has a footnote suggesting alternative readings. Without going into a lot of technicalities that won’t advance our understanding at all, let me just say that I believe the NASB translation is the best, and that same translation is found in the margin of most NIV’s. It reads something like this: “God jealously longs for the spirit that He made to live in us.” The “spirit” here is probably not a reference to the Holy Spirit, but rather to the human spirit, and the point is that God jealousy desires our total allegiance. He doesn’t want us to have divided allegiance. He wants us to be in the world but not of it.
It is important that we understand that James is not alone in ascribing jealousy to God; in fact, He is called a jealous God at least 40 times in the Bible. He even calls Himself jealous in Ex. 34:14, where He spoke to the people of Israel: “You shall not worship any other god, for the Lord, whose name is Jealous, is a Jealous God.” But to many people jealousy is a troubling attribute to ascribe to God. We tend to view jealousy as a character fault that can sometimes become pathological and can even lead to murder. How then can something so negative in us be so praiseworthy in God? In other words, how can the same thing be a virtue in God and a vice in men.
To begin with we need to recognize that jealousy is not always a negative attribute. Webster defines it as “intolerance of rivalry or unfaithfulness.” Married people who try to protect a love relationship against the intrusion of an adulterer into their homes are praised, not condemned. And the same kind of thing is going on here in God’s attitude toward us, for our relationship with God is frequently referred to as a marriage. He makes it abundantly clear that He is intolerant of rivalry or unfaithfulness and He will not play second fiddle to anyone. That’s not because of egotism or insecurity on His part, however, as it often is in ours, but rather because of His great love.
Let me just stop here and ask this morning. Is your love quotient for the world one that is stirring up the jealousy of God? Think about your attitude toward possessions, prosperity, security, sports, pleasure, stewardship, beauty, and even church? Are those attitudes worldly or godly?
A Washington D.C. pastor whose church was attended frequently by President Carter in the late 70’s received a phone call early one Sunday morning: “Can you tell me if the President is expected to attend church today?” “That,” the Pastor patiently replied, “I cannot promise, but we do expect God to be here, and we fancy that will be sufficient incentive for a reasonably large attendance.” Even in our worship we can be found fighting against God.
Friends, avoiding friendship with the world is a big assignment, but according to verse 6, “He gives us more grace.” The bigger the assignment the more grace God makes available. He doesn’t demand anything of us without making the resources to do it abundantly available. But only the humble can receive grace. Many people are too proud to receive a handout. Their motto is, “I want to get it the old fashioned way—I want to earn it.” But God doesn’t operate that way. The only spiritual wages a man can earn are the wages of sin, namely death. Everything that comes from God is a gift. “He opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.”
So far we have seen that believers are often at war with each other because they are at war with themselves because they are at war with God. What’s the solution? Interestingly, James tackles the problem in the reverse order. He begins by telling us how to solve the problem with God, intimating perhaps that when we’re at peace with Him, it’s a lot easier to be a peace with ourselves and others.
How to resolve conflict and achieve peace.
Take God seriously. Quit fighting and humbly submit to His sovereign control. (7). “Submit yourselves, then, to God.” The term “submit” is a military term that means “get into your proper rank.” When a buck private acts like a general, there is always going to be trouble! Unconditional surrender is the only way to victory. Accept what comes from God’s hand without complaint. Recognize that even your frustrated desires can be used by Him to bring you to maturity. Realize that even when you face a major disappointment in your church experience it may be because God has something better in store for you. There have been times, for example, when God has called a well‑liked pastor to a new church leaving his former parishioners immensely disappointed and some even bitter at his departure. But in due time God has brought someone even better to minister to them. The secret is to submit to the sovereignty of an all‑wise, all‑loving God.
But there’s a second important step in resolving conflict and achieving peace:
Take Satan seriously. Reject his incitement to self‑assertiveness. (7) I believe one of Satan’s greatest temptations is the temptation to instant gratification, and he uses it even in the church. We want what we want when we want it. And Satan loves to see us fight for it. “Resist him,” urges James, “and he will flee from you.” We will never resist him until we take him seriously. We will end up fighting with ourselves, with God, or with our fellow‑believers instead of fighting Satan unless we see the threat he is to our unity and peace in the church. By the way, the promise here seems to be a promise to all believers, but there are two conditions attached. Satan will flee from us if we resist him and if we first submit ourselves to God.
Now at the risk of sounding repetitive, I want to state the main point again. If we have a desire that is not being met, we can do one of two things. We can quarrel and fight with those we think are roadblocks to the fulfillment of our desire. Or we can pray about the desire, submit it to God, and resist the Devil’s temptation to demand that the desire be met in our time and in our way. Finally, there is a third step in resolving conflict and achieving peace:
Take sin seriously. Both our hands and our hearts need cleansing. (8) Verse 8 reads, “Come near to God and He will come near to you.” And how to we draw near? By dealing with sin: “Wash your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double‑minded.”
God requires repentance from both the external behavior (signified by the “hands”) that has resulted in quarrels and fights and the internal attitude (signified by the “heart”) that has produced it. Deed and disposition are both important to God. And to show his readers that God demands a deep heartfelt sorrow for sin he adds, “Grieve, mourn and wail. Change your laughter to mourning and your joy to gloom.” At first this might sound like God is some kind of cosmic killjoy, but this verse has to be balanced with the hundreds of verses that speak of joy and happiness and celebration that should characterize the Christian’s experience.
What James seems to be fighting is the casual attitude towards sin that seems to have invaded so much of the church today. To those who presume too much on God’s forgiving and merciful nature this passage offers a plea for a radical, thoroughgoing repentance. We must take sin seriously.
Our passage ends appropriately with the exhortation, “Humble yourselves before the Lord, and He will lift you up. To humble ourselves before the Lord means to recognize our own spiritual poverty, to acknowledge our desperate need of God’s help, and to submit to his sovereign will for our lives. This humility was beautifully exemplified in the tax‑collector of Jesus’ parable, who, deeply conscious of his sin, called out, “God, be merciful to me, the sinner.” In response, Jesus pronounced him justified, and then applied the truth to the audience: “everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, but he who humbles himself will be exalted.” When we try to exalt ourselves and seek our own way, using natural ability, status, money, intimidation, politics, manipulation, or any other human tactics, the result is inevitably conflict in the church.
But when we humble ourselves to seek God’s face and God’s timing for the fulfillment of our desires, the result is peace. Perhaps the best conclusion to our text today is the last two verses of chapter 3: “But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace‑loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere. Peacemakers who sow in peace raise a harvest of righteousness.”
[i] Larry Osborne, The Unity Factor: Getting Your Church Leaders to Work Together.