Spiritual Warfare: The Battle for Freedom in Christ
How to Find Self-worth in Christ, Part 1
SPEAKER: Michael P. Andrus
Note to reader: These sermons on Ephesians are not my typical verse-by-verse exposition. Most were preached in 1990 in a series on “Spiritual Warfare: The Battle for Freedom in Christ.” I used Ephesians as a springboard for this series but referred to many other passages as well. Some of the sermons in the series are stand-alone messages preached at various times and various places. The early sermons from 30-35 years ago are not well footnoted, as I never expected them to be published.
Introduction: We are in a series of messages on spiritual warfare. Most people would expect that we would be talking about demon possession, occultism, Satanism, and New Age phenomenon, but so far, we have hardly mentioned these topics. That’s because I believe the greatest spiritual battle is the battle for our minds. Satan and his demons are very active in our world, but sometimes I think the more bizarre manifestations of their presence are mostly a diversionary tactic to keep us off balance. If someone isn’t foaming at the mouth or hearing strange voices, we think they’re not being influenced by Satan, when his greatest weapon is deception. He has many of us so deceived that we are defeated and helpless in the spiritual battle.
That’s why in these early messages in this series I am focusing on the place where I believe most of us are losing the battle before we ever start fighting, and that is regarding our personal identity in Christ. For two Sundays now I have tried to lay a foundation for dealing with this issue. This morning I want to get very practical as we talk about how to find self-worth in Christ.
After I chose the title for this message, I wondered if it was really the right title. Our problem isn’t really one of “finding” self-worth, because we already have it; it’s more a problem of “accepting” the fact that we have it. Be that as it may, before one can experience the joy of true self-worth, I believe he must honestly face the symptoms of low self-esteem in his own life. So, let’s start there today.
Honestly face the symptoms of low self-esteem.
The reason I start here is that frankly a lot of Christians struggle with their self-worth but don’t even realize it. We have so many defense mechanisms we throw up to protect our egos that we often don’t even realize we have a problem. I have listed six common symptoms of low self-esteem, all of which have opposite poles.
Deflecting credit or blame. Do you find yourself unable to receive compliments without feeling uneasy? If someone comes up and says, “That was a great hit you got at the softball game,” is your answer, “Oh, I guess I was just lucky”? Or if someone says, “Your hair looks nice,” do you say, “Oh, I wish it looked as good as yours”? Or if someone says, “You certainly sang a beautiful solo this morning,” are you tempted to respond, “Oh, that’s such a great song that no one could mess up”?
What should we do with compliments? The best thing to do is to say, “Thank you, I appreciate that. It really encourages me.” If we can’t do that, it’s probably because our self-esteem is inadequate.
Interestingly, the opposite tendency can be just as much a symptom of low self-esteem—the deflecting of blame, never being able to accept responsibility for mistakes because our ego is so fragile. We’re afraid to utter the words, “I’m sorry,” especially to spouse or kids. After all, admitting blame would be undermining our character and authority, or so we think. No, the only thing it undermines is that termite-eaten facade of perfection we’ve been wearing but everyone else recognizes as phony.
A critical or overly sensitive spirit. In fact, I should say, “a critical and overly sensitive spirit,” for the two almost always go together. You wouldn’t think that would be the case. You’d think a super-sensitive person would be the last person to criticize others, and of course, he rarely ever does so to their face. But from a safe distance the overly sensitive person is often extremely critical of others. Dr. Paul Meier of the Minirth/Meier Christian Psychiatric Clinic in Dallas, writes in his book, Happiness Is a Choice,
“People who don’t love and accept themselves in a healthy way compensate for their feelings of inferiority by acting out of false pride, which is a serious sin. Psychologists know that when people refuse to face up to, accept, and deal with their own hangups, they unconsciously lie to themselves by rejecting other people who have similar hangups.”
It’s almost humorous sometimes to hear a person with low self-esteem criticize someone for the very same inadequacies he or she demonstrates. What he is subconsciously doing is lowering that other person to his own level.
Introversion or extreme extroversion. The person of low self-esteem is often introverted. The thought process goes something like this: “I am afraid to tell you who I am, because if I tell you who I am, you may not like who I am, and that’s all I’ve got.” On the other hand, some people become extreme extroverts or even clowns, in a desperate effort to hide their own inadequacies. Now please don’t make these into absolute categories. Not every quiet person or fun-loving person is struggling with his self-worth. But sometimes introversion or extroversion is a symptom of that problem.
Abject humility or conceit. Humility is a good biblical word, and probably should not be used here. I’m thinking of the person who constantly apologizes for himself, putting himself down, reflecting a self-condemning, self-pitying depression. I call it the “such a worm as I syndrome.” Such people sometimes cite Paul’s statements, such as “I am the least of all saints,” “I am unworthy to be called an apostle,” and “I am the chief of sinners,” as support for such a perspective, not recognizing that Paul was referring to his past as a persecutor of the church. He wasn’t worthy of God’s grace, but once God chose him, he became worthy. Though apparently a miserable physical specimen, he obviously had a high sense of his value and destiny.
Conceit is also, almost always, a mere whitewash to cover low self-esteem. I used to teach at a college where the president insisted that the faculty members and staff call him Dr. So-and-so, even in private, and even though some had known him for years before he got his degree. Some people thought he was conceited and resented it. I suspect he was really plagued with a sense of inadequacy. When one recognizes his true self-worth, he doesn’t waste time and energy trying to impress others with it.
Competitiveness or withdrawal is a fifth symptom. The highly competitive person, the overachiever, the perfectionist often feels compelled to perform so that people will think highly of him. Any failure is perceived as a threat to his self-esteem. He appears to be highly motivated, but the motivation often comes from a desperate attempt to avoid failure and the damage it does to his ego.
On the other hand, others react to the fear of failure by withdrawing from anything where there is a risk of failure. They won’t get involved in competitive games and they refuse to reach out to new people, because only known relationships are safe relationships, and they avoid any situation where they might compare unfavorably with others. Finally, I want to mention …
Conformity or antisocial behavior. Peer pressure is an enormous problem in our society, and not just for teenagers. Stop and think sometime about how much of your time, how many of your decisions, and how much of your spending is controlled by the desire to conform and be accepted by others. Ladies, how do you feel if you go to a function very nicely dressed but you’re the only one with a long dress? Are you likely to feign illness to get out of there? Teenagers, how many times have you told your mom, “But everybody’s wearing such-and-such. I’ll die if I can’t have one.” Some pressure to conform is relatively harmless, but it doesn’t take a genius to see all around us people whose entire existence is controlled by this compulsion.
However, there are some who compensate for their feelings of inferiority by taking the opposite tack—becoming anti-social. Perhaps they feel they cannot compete, but they still want to be noticed. But it’s humorous how quickly the anti-social person conforms so completely to others who are anti-social. The classic example is the biker wheeling around on his Harley Davidson and trying to communicate that he isn’t going to be poured into society’s mold. You can spot him a mile away because he’s dressed exactly like all the other bikers who don’t want to be poured into society’s mold. The same was true of the “hoods” back in the 50’s. They wanted to be different, so they wore greasy ducktails, low-slung jeans with no belts, and black leather jackets—all of them, identical. The hippies were the same way in the 60’s, and the yuppies aren’t much different today.
Well, so much for the symptoms. My point in spending considerable time on these is to wake us up to the breadth of the problem and realize that we’re not just talking about the person next to us in the pew; we’re very possibly talking about ourselves. But recognizing symptoms doesn’t solve the problem, though it is an important place to start. The second, and far more critical step, is to …
Consciously acknowledge the foundation of true self-worth.
Now we’ve touched upon this the past few Sundays, but it is so important that I want us to stress it again. True self-worth is found in God and in our position in Jesus Christ. It’s not found anywhere else. Every other foundation is ephemeral and temporal. The first pillar of the foundation is the knowledge that …
God created you in His image and likeness. (Gen. 1:26). Gen. 1:26 tells us something very important about mankind: “Then God said, ‘Let us make man in our image, in our likeness.”Friends, we have certain characteristics in common with God, like creativity, rationality, imagination, immortality, spirituality, and moral sensitivity. All the really significant features of our personality are copies from our Creator not shared by any other creatures, and that means we are valuable and worthwhile. And even though the image of God in man was marred through the Fall, it was not eradicated! (See James 3:9!) A second pillar is …
God made you unique. (Ps. 139:13-16). Now, granted that’s more obvious with some of us than it is with others, but it’s true of all of us. And it’s a beautiful fact. Have you ever stopped to think how boring this world would be if everyone of us looked alike? Yes, even if all of us looked like Kelly McGillis or Tom Cruise, we’d soon get tired of it. A popular song of some years back goes, “Everybody’s beautiful, in his own way.” Christians, of all people, ought to believe that.
Our uniqueness was planned by God. A paraphrase of Ps. 139:13-16 might go like this:
“You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body, and knit them together in my mother’s womb. Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex! It is amazing to think about. Your workmanship is marvelous—and how well I know it. You were there while I was being formed in utter seclusion! You saw me before I was born and scheduled each day of my life before I began to breathe. Every day was recorded in your book!”
Isn’t it time we celebrated our uniqueness instead of moaning about it? A third pillar is …
God loves you. (Rom. 5:6-11). We sang several songs this morning about God’s love, but I wonder whether we really grasp the incredible nature of it. He doesn’t just love the good things about us; he loves us. No better passage addresses itself to this fact that Rom. 5:6-11:
“You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly. Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous man, though for a good man someone might possibly dare to die. But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”
And in Romans 8 we are asked,
“Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword?… No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”
Do you really believe God loves you? What does that mean to you? If that isn’t more important to you than the love and acceptance of your relatives, your peers, and your friends put together, then you don’t understand it.
A fourth pillar of the foundation for self-worth is that …
God gifted you. (Rom. 12:4-8). He has purposely created us with different abilities and gifts. Quite clearly, He isn’t interested in producing Christian clones. He wants a band of committed followers who each add something distinctive to his creation. In Rom. 12:4-8 Paul writes,
“Just as each of us has one body with many members, and these members do not all have the same function, so in Christ we who are many form one body, and each member belongs to all the others. We have different gifts, according to the grace given us. If a man’s gift is prophesying, let him use it in proportion to his faith. If it is serving, let him serve; if it is teaching, let him teach; if it is leadership. let him govern diligently; it if is showing mercy, let him do it cheerfully.”
Now if you are given to inferiority feelings and bad-mouthing yourself and your abilities, saying, “I can’t do anything, I’m such a failure; I have no useful talents,” what you are doing in essence is calling God a liar because in 1 Cor. 12:18 He says, through the Apostle Paul, “In fact, God has arranged the parts in the body of Christ (i.e., you and me), every one of them, just as he wanted them to be.” Diversity, not uniformity, is the mark of God’s handiwork.
The final main pillar of the believer’s self-worth is the fact that …
God lives in you. (1 Cor. 6:19) Listen to 1 Cor. 6:19: “Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God?” Too often we have considered this fact only from the negative standpoint, namely that I have no business doing anything that defiles the temple, and that certainly is true. But why not think about the positive side? This physical body God has given me is greater than Notre Dame or the Crystal Cathedral or any other temple made with human hands. God does not dwell in temples made with hands. He dwells in this body He created. Next week we’re going to talk in more detail about the implications of having the Holy Spirit living in us—in a sense that’s the key to everything.
Now as we conclude this theme of consciously acknowledging the foundation of true self-worth, I want you to again take the sheet we handed out last Sunday, which listed answers to the question, “Who Am I?” This morning I want us to read about the results of being “in Christ.”
Since I am in Christ, by the grace of God …
I have been justified, completely forgiven, and declared righteous. (Rom.
5:1)
I died with Christ and to the power of sin’s rule over my life. (Rom. 6:1-6)
I am free forever from condemnation. (Rom. 8:1)
I have been placed into Christ by God’s doing. (1 Cor. 1:30)
I have received the Spirit of God into my life that I might know the things
freely given to me by God. (1 Cor. 2:12)
I have been given the mind of Christ. (1 Cor. 2:16)
I have been bought with a price. I am not my own. I belong to God. (1 Cor.
6:19-20)
I have been established, anointed, and sealed by God in Christ. (1 Cor. 1:21)
I have been given the Holy Spirit as a deposit, guaranteeing my inheritance.
(Eph. 1:13-14)
I have been gifted by the Holy Spirit for ministry to my fellow believers. (1
Cor. 12:7)
I have been declared righteous (2 Cor. 5:21)
I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ lives
in me (Gal. 2:20)
I have been blessed with every spiritual blessing. (Eph. 1:3)
I have been chosen in Christ before the foundation of the world to be holy
and without blame before God. (Eph. 1:4)
I have been predestined to be adopted as a child of God. (Eph. 1:5)
I have been redeemed, forgiven, and am a recipient of His lavish grace.
(Eph. 1:7-8)
I have been made alive together with Christ. (Eph. 2:5)
I have been raised up and seated with Christ in heaven. (Eph. 2:5)
I have direct access to God through the Spirit. (Eph. 2:18)
I may approach God with boldness, freedom, and confidence. (Eph. 3:12)
I have been delivered from the domain of darkness and transferred to the
kingdom of Christ. (Col. 1:13)
I have been redeemed and forgiven of all my sins. (Col. 1:14)
I am indwelt by the person of Christ. (Col. 1:27)
I have been firmly rooted in Christ and am being built up in Him. Col. 2:7)
I have been made complete in Christ. (Col. 2:10)
I have been buried, raised, and made alive with Christ. (Col. 2:12-13)
I have been raised up with Christ. My life is now hidden with Christ in God.
Christ is now my life. (Col. 3:1-4)
I have been given a spirit of power, love, and self-discipline. (2 Tim. 1:7)
I have been saved and set apart according to God’s doing. (2 Tim. 1:9)
I have had the Holy Spirit poured out generously on me. (Titus 3:6)
I have been made holy so that Jesus is not ashamed to call me His brother or
sister. (Heb. 2:11)
I have a right to come boldly before the throne of God to find mercy and
grace to help in time of need. (Heb. 4:16)
I have been given exceedingly great and precious promises by God by which
I share in the divine nature. (2 Peter 1:4)
I was very encouraged to hear about one person who began to memorize the verses we read last week. Such a discipline could not help but build a person’s understanding of his self-worth. But whether you memorize the verses or not, let me urge you to read these sheets regularly.
Now so far this morning we have examined some common symptoms of low-self-esteem, and then we have taken a long look at the only solid foundation for true self-worth. Now I want us to consider some practical steps we can take to treat the symptoms if we recognize them in our own lives.
I suspect there are some who recognize the symptoms but don’t want any treatment. Dr. Gary Collins suggests that some people actually enjoy feeling inferior. Some of the benefits are that other people feel sorry for them and give them extra privileges and attention. Further, if they feed on their feelings of inferiority, they don’t have to assume any responsibility for getting well. But let’s face it; such a state is a mighty sad substitute for mental, emotional, and spiritual health.
I believe these steps are good for everyone, whether you’re struggling in this area or not; I also believe they’re biblical. But since we’ll only get to a couple of them this morning, I want to emphasize that for some these practical steps are going to be very difficult, because they have never learned to draw their power from the Holy Spirit. That will be our focus next Sunday. With that in mind, our third step in how to find self-worth in Christ is …
Cooperate with God in recognizing and accepting self-worth:
In other words, it’s not just a matter of knowing the truth. Truth must be internalized and put into practice. Step #1 is …
Be patient. (1 Tim. 4:7-8). Take your time. Life-long habits and thought patterns are not often changed overnight. Don’t give up if you’re not tingling in a week over how great you are. Jay Adams wrote a very brief but excellent book entitled, Godliness Through Discipline. Notice, it’s not godliness through prayer, or godliness through miracle, but godliness through discipline, and it’s based upon 1 Tim. 4:7-8: “Train yourself to be godly. For physical training is of some value, but godliness has value for all things, holding promise for both the present life and the life to come.”
Change what you can but accept what you can’t change. (Matt. 6:27) It’s amazing to me how many people don’t like themselves but never do anything about it. Let’s suppose you feel inferior about your education. Well, why not go back to school? Or maybe you don’t like your teeth. Go see an orthodontist. Or your weight. Lose it, if medically possible. Discipline yourself to change what you can.
Unfortunately, one of the strange things about feelings of poor-self-esteem is that they often focus on things that cannot be changed—basic physical characteristics, the past, native intelligence, abilities, etc. So many of us waste valuable emotional energy worrying and stewing about things that we cannot do anything about. If your problem is tallness or shortness, undersized or oversized physical features, or lack of musical ability, then don’t sweat it. Jesus said in Matt. 6:27: “Which of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?” (The KJV reads, “a single cubit to his height?”)
I read a letter in Ann Landers’ column this week about a woman who apparently decided she would prove Jesus wrong. She’s had 9 major surgeries including a face lift, an upper arm reduction, breast implants, a nose job, her ears tucked back, a tummy tuck, liposuction on her thighs, her rump lifted, and two ribs removed so she could have a 22-inch waist. I’m willing to bet this woman is still a basket case of poor self-esteem.
Frankly, I think there is a gray area here that each person must decide for himself. Should a Christian get a face lift, or a nose job, or a silicone injection? I think motives would play a large part in such a decision, and one’s motives might be uncovered by asking a few questions, like: Will it help me relate better to people? Will it bring glory to God? Will it really make a difference? Is this good stewardship of my finances?
Conclusion: As we close this morning, let’s keep in mind that we’re in a spiritual battle which Satan is going to win if he can succeed in deceiving us about our personal identity in Christ. He knows that if we come to understand how fabulous our position in Him really is, we will be victorious against the world, the flesh, and himself. I pray earnestly that we will come to believe what God says about us so that we might behave as God says we should.
Of course, all of this is predicated upon the assumption that we have become children of God through faith in Jesus Christ. He died for us to pay for our sins. Only when we have accepted that truth can we take advantage of all the other blessings He has provided to His children.
DATE: September 23, 1990
Tags:
Self-worth
Self-esteem
Humility
God’s love