Living Our Faith at Home and at Work
SPEAKER: Michael P. Andrus
Note: This sermon was preached at GraceFirst EFC in Wichita in November 2024.
Introduction. It’s always good to be back here at GraceFirst. Pastor Tim has become a dear friend, to go along with the dozens of dear friends we have known here for well over 40 years.
The passage Tim has given me today comes at the end of a section of Ephesians dealing with Spirit-filled family relationships. The principal relationship, of course, is that of husband and wife, and Tim dealt beautifully with that last Lord’s Day. The instructions to children and parents which follow are much briefer, but no less important.
Paul also offers instructions for slaves and masters, which I will suggest can apply more broadly to labor and management. Thus, my title, “Living Our Faith at Home and at Work.” Let’s begin by reading just the first four verses of Ephesians 6 (NIV):
Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.“Honor your father and mother”—which is the first commandment with a promise— “so that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth.”
Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.
Living our faith at home (6:1-4)
The Apostle’s instructions here can be summarized as follows:
Children—obey don’t rebel;
Parents—educate don’t exasperate.[i]
He begins by addressing the children directly. I assume they were present in the assembly where this letter was read, and I’m glad there are children here this morning to hear God speaking specifically to you.
Children—obey don’t rebel. “Children, obey your parents.” Kids, God has placed your parents over you because you need the wisdom, experience, guidance, and protection they can provide. The Lord Jesus, the perfect Son of God, obeyed His parents and continued to be submissive to them, even though He was sinless and they weren’t, even when they didn’t understand His pursuit of God’s call on His life.
Now I want to approach this passage with a series of questions. I’ve always been one to ask lots of questions, especially while studying a passage or listening to a sermon. My first question is…
What does obedience entail? Well, clearly to obey means to do what you’re told. When a parent tells a child to brush his teeth, or clean his room, or go to bed, he should do it. But it means more than that. It also involves a certain attitude—an attitude of honor and respect. That is clear from Paul’s appeal to the Fifth Commandment: “Honor your father and mother.” You can obey your parents without honoring them, but you can’t honor them without obeying. You’ve possibly heard about the little boy who was forced to sit in the corner. He responded to his father, “I may be sitting down on the outside but I’m standing up on the inside.” That is not biblical obedience. Biblical obedience is doing what you’re told without complaint, without groaning, without resistance. Second question:
Why are children to obey? Paul answers, “for this is right.” It’s right for several reasons. Natural law or common sense supports it, for after all, children owe their very existence to their parents, who are older and smarter. But it’s also right because God says so. He created us and He knows what’s best for us.
The Fifth Commandment offers an additional very compelling reason for children to obey—life will go better if they do. The Fifth is unique among the Ten Commandments. It is the only one with a specific promise attached to it. All the commandments contain inherent promises of blessing when we obey, and trouble when we don’t. But this one has the promise explicitly stated. Here it is: “that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth.” Who wouldn’t want life to go well and to last long?
But does the Fifth Commandment offer a guaranteed promise or is it just a general principle? Does it mean that no obedient child will ever get cancer or die in an auto accident? Does it mean that every child who dies young was disobedient? No, I don’t think that is the intent. The promise is really a principle, namely that children who obey their parents will inevitably escape a lot of the consequences of sin and thus, all other things being equal, have better lives and longer lives than those who don’t. I firmly believe that. When kids become delinquent, get involved in drug addiction, go to prison, and die young, there is almost always a correlation between these outcomes and early disobedience to parents.
But is the requirement for a child to obey his or her parents absolute? What if a parent tells a child to do something that is wrong? I’ve read recently about some parents who have used small children to shoplift while the parent distracts the store clerk. The requirement to obey, here and always, is limited by another biblical requirement: “we must obey God rather than man.” One’s highest allegiance must always be to God. But barring the case of a parent telling a child to do something that violates God’s revealed will, the child should obey his father and his mother.
What about adult children? I think it’s clear that Paul is here addressing minor children living in the home. Married children are addressed in Genesis 2 (quoted by Jesus in Matthew 19), where a man is told to “leave his father and mother and cleave to his wife.” So clearly, married children are no longer responsible to obey their parents. They should certainly still honor them, but the dependence that once bound the child to his or her parents should now be transferred to his or her spouse.
If adult children are not married and continue to live in the parents’ home, I think they should follow the rules of the home, but the relationship with their parents should probably be more one of seeking counsel than strict obedience.
And allow me to make one other application that is particularly relevant as I recently turned 80 years old. Honoring one’s parents extends to providing care for them when they get old. Way too many senior citizens are abandoned in their old age by children who can’t be bothered.
The text turns our attention now to the responsibilities of the parents.
Parents—educate, don’t exasperate. Paul begins with the negative command: “Fathers, do not exasperate your children.” Why does Paul revert to “fathers” here rather than “parents”? I don’t think he intends to alleviate the co-responsibility that mothers have in the rearing of children. As a matter of fact, the Greek term for “fathers” was sometimes used to refer to both fathers and mothers, as in Heb. 11:23, where it refers to both of Moses’ parents. However, Paul may be focusing more on fathers than mothers because most moms are more naturally nurturing, gentle, and forgiving, whereas fathers tend to make greater demands on their children.
What does it mean “to exasperate”? It means to provoke an angry response, to create resentment, to cause one to become bitter. Keep in mind that fathers had nearly absolute authority over their children in Roman culture. They could enslave them, beat them, even put them to death if they were deemed rebellious. But Paul rejects that model of parental behavior entirely. He says fathers shouldn’t even exasperate their children, much less abuse them.
What are some ways parents exasperate their children?
How about saying one thing and doing another?
How about frequent blaming while rarely praising?
How about inconsistent and unfair discipline?
How about showing favoritism for one child over the others? By the way, sometimes this happens without even realizing it. Parents need to bend over backwards to prevent even the appearance of favoritism.
How about making promises and not keeping them?
How about making unreasonable demands without taking into consideration the immaturity of the child?
How about over-indulgence and over-protection? Helicopter moms, while hovering over their children, can in fact end up generating negative reactions.
How about using the weapons of ridicule or sarcasm? Is this ever appropriate?
How about making light of problems that, to the children, seem very important?
How about using love as a tool of reward when the child is good and withdrawing it when he misbehaves?
Please understand, the mere fact that a child becomes exasperated is not necessarily proof that the parent is at fault. Some children seem to thrive on exasperation as they imagine all kinds of provocations. But the parent should not be the cause.
Paul then makes it clear that parents must also do something positive: “instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.” Most parents do a pretty good job of nurturing their children physically by providing food, shelter, clothing, and attending their soccer games. But parents, and especially fathers, must also nurture their children emotionally and spiritually.
What is entailed in “training” and “instruction”? “Training” is another word for discipline. In fact, it is often translated in the NT as “chastisement.” The term translated “instruction” includes the communication of biblical truth, right attitudes, and principles of behavior. Discipline is for the child who is going the wrong way, while instruction shows the child the right way.
The Scriptures are full of examples of parents who failed in these responsibilities. David pampered his son Absolom, with tragic results for both of them. Eli, the priest, failed to discipline his sons and they brought disgrace upon him and the nation, leading to their deaths and his. Jacob showed favoritism to his son Joseph, which motivated his other sons to sin grievously. Christian parents must rear their children in the training and instruction of the Lord.
So, what are some ways any parent can nurture their child’s faith? Well, when children are little, read them Bible stories. My parents read us Egermeier’s Bible Stories until the cover came off. First published over 100 years ago, it is still available in print and in video. Most of my knowledge of the OT started with Egermeier’s. I’ll never forget Ehud, the left-handed judge, who plunged his dagger into King Eglon’s belly, and the fat closed in over it. How could a kid ever forget a story like that? But that’s not all I remember. I remember the point of the story—that God gives victory to his faithful servants.
Family devotions at the table are valuable, as are catechisms designed for children of all ages. Something as simple as debriefing a sermon with the kids on the way home from church can be valuable. The church can help, too, with programs like AWANA, S.S., Christian camping, and youth group.
What is the most common way parents neglect the responsibility to nurture their children? I think it must be in relying heavily, or even solely, on the school and the church to educate their children. Friends, outside agencies—governmental, social, or religious—can supplement the home, but they cannot substitute for the home. God looks principally to parents for the nurture children need.
Today the school often has an outsized influence on children, and not for the good of the family. Seventy-five years ago, when I first went to school, home-schooling was non-existent and parochial schooling was pretty much limited to Catholics and Lutherans. But that wasn’t a particular problem for us, because public schools were, for the most part, focused on reading, writing, math, history, music, and sports. I don’t recall anything in the public schools I attended in St. Louis that was antithetical to Christianity, and there was some that affirmed it. For example, we sang all the great Christmas carols in our music class without apology, and organic evolution was presented as theory, not fact.
It’s a very different story today. There is virtually nothing in most government schools that affirms the Christian faith and much that denigrates it. Now it is not my place to tell you where or how to educate your children, but I think the current state of public education puts an increased responsibility on parents to counteract the school’s influence by nurturing their children in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. And it puts a greater responsibility on the church to partner with parents in this endeavor.
And since I’m old and have nothing to lose, let me rush in where angels fear to tread. Christian parents are constantly lamenting about children who leave the church and deconstruct their faith when they go off to college. Well, what should we expect? The average state university, to say nothing of the elite Ivy League schools, is a cesspool of Marxism, wokism, and godlessness, designed to destroy Christian faith and Christian living. At the very least we should be sure that the university our kids attend has an effective campus ministry, where they can get plugged in, so they can survive and maybe even thrive. But there are also good Christian alternatives for higher education that I wish more Christian parents would consider.
Ok. I’m off my soapbox.
It’s time to turn our attention to the second burden Paul shares in our passage:
Living our faith at work (Ephesians 6:5-9)
Let’s read verses 5-9:
Slaves, obey your earthly masters with respect and fear, and with sincerity of heart, just as you would obey Christ. Obey them not only to win their favor when their eye is on you, but as slaves of Christ, doing the will of God from your heart. Serve wholeheartedly, as if you were serving the Lord, not people, because you know that the Lord will reward each one for whatever good they do, whether they are slave or free.
And masters, treat your slaves in the same way. Do not threaten them, since you know that he who is both their Master and yours is in heaven, and there is no favoritism with him.
Now before we can even begin to consider what this passage is saying, we must deal with the elephant in the room: why does Paul even talk about how slaves and masters should treat one another, instead of denouncing the entire institution of slavery? Isn’t slavery by its very nature antithetical to Christianity, to nature, and to morality?
It is helpful to recognize that slavery was virtually universal in the first century. In fact, it is estimated by historians that more than half of all the people in the Roman Empire were slaves. People were forced into slavery for essentially two reasons: economic or political. That is, they became slaves because of indebtedness or they became slaves because they were conquered in war. So, when the NT addresses slavery, it is not speaking directly to the conditions of African slaves kidnapped and forced into demeaning conditions because they were considered less than fully human. That kind of slavery was essentially unknown in the Greco-Roman world.
Still slavery was a very negative institution even in NT times. Slaves were owned, and their masters had virtually complete control of them. Such servitude is revolting to us today, and I think, quite likely, it was also revolting to Paul. But you won’t find here a categorical denunciation of the institution of slavery itself, nor will you find such anywhere in the NT.
Before becoming embarrassed about that, however, please note that Paul was careful to instruct Christian slaves to secure their freedom if they could (1 Cor. 7:21), he denounced the slave trader (1 Tim. 1:10), and he urged Philemon to take back his runaway slave and treat him as a brother in Christ (Philemon 1). However, he never advocated the overthrow of the existing order. The reason is that he never considered man’s basic problems to be economic or social or political, but rather spiritual in nature. For Paul to divert his attention to attacking the institution of slavery would have been tantamount to abandoning his first love, the preaching of the Gospel, and it would likely have meant the death-knell of the Church.
What Paul chose to do instead is to apply biblical principles to the institution of slavery which, if practiced, would allow both the slave and the master to live meaningful, productive lives that were pleasing to God. After all, Christianity is a faith that can be practiced equally well by people in all stations of life. Besides, the only sure way to permanently correct social ills is to change people. As has been often observed, “The heart of every problem is the problem of the heart.” [ii]
And since Paul chose to apply principles rather than speak to the specific issues of slavery, we can apply those same principles to our modern labor-management situation. So, let’s turn our attention to his instructions for employees, or slaves. Essentially the message to employees (slaves) is …
Employees (slaves)—obey your boss, as you would Jesus. Obedience here, as with children, involves attitude as well as action. Note the words Paul employs to describe the employee’s attitude: “respect,” “fear,” and “sincerity.” In fact, their obedience is to be like the obedience they render to Jesus.
Furthermore, obedience should be offered not only when the boss is watching, but all the time. It’s human nature to work harder when the boss is watching than when he’s not; to get to work on time when he’s in town and late when he’s not; to concentrate when he’s there but to waste time talking to fellow workers when he’s not. That’s human nature, but it’s not the Christian way. The Christian has no business being a clock watcher.
1 Peter 2:18 adds an important detail—this command to obey applies not only to sensitive, kind, fair bosses (like Jesus would be), but even to those who are harsh and unfair. Listen: “Submit yourselves to your masters with all respect, not only to those who are good and considerate, but also to those who are harsh. For it is commendable if a man bears up under the pain of unjust suffering because he is conscious of God.”
Now I don’t think this should be interpreted as meaning a Christian should never participate in a strike, or never appeal to the union steward to settle a grievance, or never use the courts to protect his rights. Those are tools the slave didn’t have, so Paul didn’t discuss them. Neither, of course, did he discuss the option employees today have of quitting and finding a different job, because slaves couldn’t quit. But despite the greater freedom workers enjoy today, the underlying truth is that the boss is the boss and should be treated as such.
However, management’s authority over labor is not absolute, any more than is the husband’s authority over his wife, or the parent’s over the child. In every relationship in life, our submission is tempered by obedience to God. And if an employer asks a worker to lie or steal or cheat or sell an inferior product, or if the employer practices sexual harassment or racial discrimination, then the employee not only has the right, but perhaps even the obligation, to object.
Verse 7 adds another dimension to the employee’s responsibility. “Serve wholeheartedly, as if you were serving the Lord, not people, because you know that the Lord will reward each one for whatever good they do, whether they are slave or free.” The employee, or the slave, should be thinking that his ultimate service is to God, because God is the one who ultimately controls the remuneration. He rewards faithful service, even when men don’t.
There have been times in the lives of all of us, (and some of you may be going through it right now), when you have worked very hard but have not been properly rewarded for it. You may have been cheated out of a raise you deserved, or summarily fired for something that was someone else’s fault, or been edged out of a promotion by someone who fit DEI requirements. Perhaps you are asking yourself, “Is it all worth it? What do you get for breaking your neck for the company?” Maybe you even hear Tennessee Earnie Ford’s words ringing in your ears: “Sixteen tons, what do you get? Another day older and deeper in debt.”
Friends, that’s not a Christian perspective! What you get is a promise from God you will be rewarded for faithful service, by Him. Years ago, I was given a plaque by a parishioner which humorously described the pastor’s remuneration: “The pay’s not much, but the retirement benefits are out of this world.” Not a bad way for any of us to think about our jobs. Nothing goes unwitnessed by the Lord and nothing well done is ever done in vain. You may receive only criticism and misunderstanding now, but God will balance the books later.
And now Paul wraps up his counsel with a word to the masters, the employers.
Employers (masters)—serve your workers, as you would Jesus. “And masters, treat your slaves in the same way. Do not threaten them.” Here we are reminded once again how incredibly balanced the Scriptures are:
No word for the wives without a word also for the husbands.
No demands for the children without demands for the parents.
And Paul doesn’t put all the burden on labor either—he has something to say to management as well, but not as much. Why? Probably because there were more slaves in the church than managers.
Employers are to treat their employees with the same kind of respect that they themselves are due. And they are not to intimidate their workers. It’s a natural human tendency to throw our weight around when we get into a position of authority. But threats and intimidation are rarely good motivators.
And what is the rationale for treating employees with respect and avoiding threats?
“Since you know that he who is both their Master and yours is in heaven, and there is no favoritism with him.” All Christians—slaves and masters, management and labor, sergeants and privates, the C-Suite and middle managers—are in the same boat before Christ. We are all servants to Him. The ground is level at the foot of the Cross. Our common obligation to Christ takes precedence over our obligations to one another and tempers our interpersonal relations with His love, His compassion, and His sweet reasonableness.
Perhaps the best way to conclude this section on labor and management is to read verses 5-9 text from The Message, Eugene Peterson’s translation:
Servants, respectfully obey your earthly masters but always with an eye to obeying the real master, Christ. Don’t just do what you have to do to get by, but work heartily, as Christ’s servants doing what God wants you to do. And work with a smile on your face, always keeping in mind that no matter who happens to be giving the orders, you’re really serving God. Good work will get you good pay from the Master, regardless of whether you are slave or free.
Masters, it’s the same with you. No abuse, please, and no threats. You and your servants are both under the same Master in heaven. He makes no distinction between you and them.
Conclusion: Friends, this whole section of Ephesians says a lot about the various authorities in our lives—authorities in the family and at work. What we must always keep in mind is that there is an ultimate authority that demands our allegiance above all others, and that is God Himself. He created us, He owns us, He loves us, and He redeemed us by sending His one and only Son into the world to pay the penalty for our sins.
I came across a prayer written by David Maines called “The Ultimate Authority Prayer.” I think it fits well as a conclusion to our study:
Lord Jesus,
You know I live in a “two-boss world.”
Conflicting voices call for my allegiance,
but yours is the one I choose to obey.
Help me to please you today by
upholding your standards,
resisting temptation,
and faithfully representing you
in all I do.
I claim the promise of your presence this day
as I go about my family life and my work.
Christ, you are my ultimate authority.
Amen.[iii]
DATE: November 10, 2024
Tags:
Children
Parents
Slaves
Masters
Slavery
Labor
[i] This outline is not original with me, but I cannot remember where I found it.
[ii] Warren W. Wiersbe, Be Complete, 134.
[iii] David Maines, “Ultimate Authority Prayer,” italicized words added.